


Proof

by BrushDog



Category: DRAMAtical Murder - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Hook-Up, Implied Trip/Sei, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, It's just a very self-indulgent AU okay, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-20
Updated: 2015-11-02
Packaged: 2018-03-31 09:26:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 35,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3972781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrushDog/pseuds/BrushDog
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Theo works as an intern at his father's company. Sei works as a baker at the shop across the street. One night, a chance encounter sparks Theo's interest in a way he can't ignore. Yet the more he looks for answers, the more he finds that the baker across the street is an enigma that he can't easily put to rest.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello and welcome to my first multi-part fic in uh. Way too long. Like the tag says this is really something dumb and fluffy and self-indulgent that I've been writing based on a prompt provided by my twitter feed during Dmmd Rare Pair week 2015. I meant to make this something short and sweet, but it wound up insisting on being a bit more than that so this is what you get.
> 
> Chapters should be short. I hope to keep updates consistent. There will be porn at the end. Tags will be updated as the story goes on. [epiproctan](http://archiveofourown.org/users/epiproctan/pseuds/epiproctan) gets my undying love for beta'ing this. Enjoy!

Honestly, Theo had never meant to stay in the office so late, but in the end he's glad that he did. His job at the company can hardly be considered a true occupation for any extent of the word. He's still two years into university and the burden of classes as well as managing a full office load would certainly tax his ability beyond their limits. No matter how highly his father thinks of him, he is still human, after all. However, due to his age and inexperience, the workload he's given largely consists of busy work. He'll run reports, take meeting notes, run errands to grab pastries for Friday mornings, that sort of thing. Though they call him an intern, sometimes he feels like little more than a glorified secretary, but it's his father's influence that's earned him the position, so he can't think to be anything but grateful for it.

Even though it’s a Friday and there are exams to study for and presentations to prepare for his classes, one of the managers had come by his desk earlier asking for him to write up a brief forecast projection on the next quarter's product sales. He'd been so surprised at the opportunity that he agreed without hesitation, throwing himself recklessly into the work until suddenly he realized the office was empty around him. Chagrined, he had gathered up his things and made his way out, nodding hastily to the security guard to hide his embarrassment at staying so late.

So Theo finds himself making his way to the nearby tram station through the quiet streets of the business district. The city never truly calms. Even if there's only a few other stragglers on the streets with him--men and women making their way to cars or trains, finding their way home--he knows that just a few blocks away, the hustle and bustle of Friday night's entertainment is probably well underway. Still, Theo doesn't mind. His dedication is to his studies, to his work, and to his father and the family company. Certainly there will be time for other things once those duties have been attended to.

He's alone at the station, lost in his thoughts and the occasional cars that pass by on either side of the tracks, when something catches his eye. The tram station is hardly large. It's nothing more than a bit of raised concrete set into the middle of the road on either side of the tracks, only about half the length of the city block in total. That's why Theo can see the figure standing at the far end of the opposite platform clearly. 

It isn't strange for someone else to be headed into the city at this hour of the evening. Even if Theo had stayed on past most of his coworkers, the sky is only just barely starting to darken with the oncoming night. Yet still, there's something strange about the other person, a familiarity that tugs at Theo that he can't quite place. They're standing at the very edge of the platform, toes brushing the edge where the concrete drops away to the tracks. Their head is down, black hair obscuring their face from Theo's view. A longer brown coat hides most of their figure, but Theo thinks that in the dim light he can make out what seems like a black skirt, or perhaps a dress, with some sort of scrolling with pattern across the--

"Oh!" Realization strikes him. "The bakery!"

The stranger's head snaps up, suddenly, wide dark eyes looking to Theo from across the tracks. Theo ducks his head, feeling a flush creep to his cheeks. He said that out loud, didn't he?

"I'm very sorry," he calls out, stepping closer across the platform so he can speak without having to raise his voice across the way. "I saw you standing there and I thought that you looked familiar. You wouldn't happen to work at the bakery on Schröderstraße, would you?"

The stranger blinks at him, eyes narrowing slightly to regard Theo, head tilted slightly at the question.

"I truly am sorry," Theo says, now standing directly across from the stranger. "I didn't mean to startle you like that. I work in the building across the street from that bakery. It's where I always go for pastries on Friday mornings."

"Ah," the stranger says. The sound of it is so soft that if it weren't for the motion of the stranger's lips, Theo would have been certain he'd imagined it.

He smiles instead, apologetic and warm, hands clasping the handle of his briefcase in front of him. "Then, is it true that you work there?"

The stranger nods. "I work there."

"I thought so," Theo says with a pleased smile. "I see you there sometimes in the morning when I stop to pick up our order. You were in the back filling the bundt cake pans this morning, weren't you?"

"I was," the stranger says, gaze unwavering. There's some strange quality to it that makes the hairs at the back of Theo's neck stand on end. He almost feels as though he's being examined like a piece of art at the museum or an insect under glass. He tries to shake it off and pushes on regardless.

"There were a few of the smaller ones in our order. They really were delicious today. You did a wonderful job."

"Thank you," the stranger says, nonplussed.

"Are you heading home for the night now? It's rather late, isn't it?"

"It is late," the stranger says, looking back down to the tracks before them. In the distance, Theo can hear the tram's bell ringing. It must be only a few stops away. 

Suddenly, a strange sort of urge fills him, crawling up his throat until he blurts out, "My name is Theo. Can I have yours?"

"My name?"

"Ah--I mean--yes," Theo stammers, looking to the side. He can see the tram coming closer now, waiting at the traffic light. He turns back to the stranger. "I know it may seem rude, but I always see you, in the mornings, so I thought that I'd like to be able to thank you properly for the pastries--"

"It's all right," the stranger says, lips curling into a faint smile. He takes a step back from the edge of the platform, hands clasped behind his back and Theo nearly steps forward with him before he remembers himself. That seems to make the stranger smile a little wider.

The tram bell rings again, the carriage drawing up to the platform. Theo swallows, eyes locked on the stranger across from him. The last thing he hears before the chime of the tram doors is, "My name is Sei."

"Sei."

Theo sounds the name out to himself at home that night, lying awake in bed, and immediately flushes at how absurd the action is. He isn't some sort of lovestruck schoolgirl. Also it would be terribly rude to presume that sort of connection with someone that he knows little of beyond a simple name.

Still, it would be a lie to tell himself that Sei hadn't caught his attention before their chance encounter at the tram station. What Theo had told him was true. During his morning stops to the bakery, he sometimes noticed the other man, either working in the back preparing batches of pastries, breads, and cakes, or in the front at the register.

To be honest, the first time he'd seen Sei he'd been somewhat startled. Although his family was part Japanese, on his maternal grandmother's side, he hadn't expected to meet a Japanese person on his way to the bakery that day.

It wasn't as though there were in a part of town that lacked diversity. The nearby university had an internationally renowned technology program that brought students from all corners of the globe. However, those students rarely busied themselves in their off hours with something as menial as filling in part-time at a traditional bakery. Their first encounter seemed to have only been memorable from Theo's side, due to the sudden fit of stammering he'd found himself in when Sei's dark eyes caught his gaze and asked for his order in his soft, lightly accented German.

It's selfish to think that Sei would recognize him the same way that Theo had recognized him, Theo chides himself. The bakery is quite successful, meaning that Sei's days are likely filled with countless faces and names, different orders and recipes, ingredients and cleaning, everything necessary to keep the bakery in order. Theo hardly thinks little of the sort of labor required to maintain such an endeavor. His work at his father's company is slowly teaching him the value and importance of hard work in any undertaking, no matter how small. Sei's work is impressive, in its own way.

Yet still, he wonders at why the encounter hangs in his mind. Although he hadn't noticed it before in the bakery, the way that Sei's gaze lingered on him that night, the way he stood at the platform's edge seemed strange. There was some sort of weight, some kind of darkness that seemed to hold to it. Perhaps he's just reading too much into it, he thinks, but Theo almost thinks that he had seen something lonely in Sei's eyes. Something that was, in a way, familiar.

Letting out a rough sigh, Theo turns, pressing his face against the pillow on his bed. It isn't fair to Sei to read another person's experiences into his life. It most certainly isn't fair to himself, either, to draw upon faded memories of his own when nothing can be done to change the past. The present is all that is given to him for now. But, perhaps, there wouldn't be any harm in learning what story it is that Sei has to tell. His thoughts trace off in that direction, aimless and muddled, until finally sleep finds him.

A week passes before he sees Sei again. Theo steps into the bakery the next Friday morning and finds a familiar face waiting for him behind the counter. He smiles eagerly, calling out as he approaches.

"Good morning, Sei."

"Good morning, Theo," Sei replies, a courteous smile gracing his lips.

Theo feels his lips curve a little wider, something warm and flushed spreading in his chest. "You remembered my name," he says.

"I did," Sei says with a nod, "Although it wasn't that hard."

"What do you mean?"

Sei turns from the display case, fetching the office's order from the back, and slides it across the counter to Theo, long pale fingers resting just a bit above the handwritten order sheet that sits on top.

Frowning, Theo peers down at the text there, reading it aloud. "'Authorized for pickup: Theo'..." He feels his cheeks burning again, but he forces through it, smiling up at Sei apologetically. "Ah, they've always written that there, haven't they?"

"They do," Sei nods, "Every week. Since you're the one to pick it up."

"So that means...you've always known my name, haven't you?"

"I have," Sei says, his smile politely remaining in place.

"It feels a little silly to draw attention to it, when you put it that way," Theo admits, "I'm sorry if I was too presumptuous."

Sei shrugs, although there's something half-hearted about the gesture. He's still smiling throughout it all. "I don't mind it. Will that be all?"

"Ah, what do you mean--?"

"Your order," Sei says, pushing the box forward slightly for emphasis. His eyes lock with Theo's and Theo feels the same intensity in Sei's gaze from their chance encounter at the station. Yet now, standing closer to Sei, he thinks that there's something else to it, something beyond the scrutiny, almost something searching, hopeful.

He swallows, losing his voice for a moment, and flounders as he tries to find it again. "I--ah--yes." He reaches forward, taking the box, pulling it quickly from Sei's grasp. "This will be all. Thank you, Sei."

"Thank you, Theo," Sei nods, "I'll see you next week."

"I'll see you then," Theo says hastily, turning quickly from the store to make his way to the office across the street. It isn't until he makes his way to his desk, pastries safely deposited in the break room, that he realizes how quickly his pulse has been racing in his chest.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Theo finds himself settling into an easy routine with his new found connection to Sei, although Sei himself may not be as receptive to Theo's openness as he seems.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter's really short and sweet. The rest will all be longer, I promise. [epiproctan](http://archiveofourown.org/users/epiproctan/pseuds/epiproctan) is on beta duty once more.

True to Sei's word, Theo does see him the next week, and the week after, and the week after that. Although before it seemed that Theo would more often than not pick up the order from one of the other bakery staffers, catching only fleeting glimpses of Sei working in the back if he was lucky, ever since their chance encounter at the station it's always been Sei who greets him on Friday morning, Sei who hands the order off and makes sure that everything is where it needs to be.

Theo is hardly so presumptuous as to think that the change in staffing is entirely on his account. Perhaps they've simply just had a shift in personnel as of late. Another baker who wants more time in the kitchens to gain experience, or perhaps a shortage in their usual counter staff. Yet whatever the reason, Theo is grateful for the change, for the chance to see Sei's smiles, as perfunctory as they are, and for the chance to slowly draw a little more from the other man.

One of the first things he finds, however, is that Sei is rather adept at answering questions without truly giving an answer. This becomes all the more apparent on one of Theo's weekly visits.

Their greetings exchanged, Theo rests his hands on the counter as Sei sets about preparing the order. It's been a busy morning so far, apparently, so he hasn't had a chance to put together the box like usual. Theo takes the chance to strike up a conversation.

"Sei is a Japanese name, isn't it?" he asks. He can tell by Sei's features, by his dark hair and the shape of his eyes, as well as the distinct quality of his accent that he must be Japanese, but he knows that it would be rude to presume as much without asking.

Yet Sei, strangely enough, doesn't answer him so simply.

"Do you think so?" is all he says, dark eyes looking up to Theo through the glass of the display cases as he reaches for a tray of pastries.

"Ah, well--my grandmother was Japanese," Theo explains. "We speak it at home all the time. Although I haven't had a chance to visit yet, just judging from your appearance I thought you might be from there."

"Is that right?" Sei says, favoring Theo with his usual polite smile before turning to arrange the pastries in their box.

Theo can feel the flush of embarrassment warming his ears. He clears his throat, nodding, then remembers that Sei's back is turned to him. "It's just what I thought. I'm sorry if it's presumptuous, or if I'm mistaken."

"That's not it," Sei says, turning back to the display case. He doesn't meet Theo's gaze this time, instead focusing on the work at hand. "Not many people ask."

"Oh." For a moment, Theo's uncertain of if what he feels is relief or more confusion. Would that mean that others just presume upon Sei's heritage without thinking to confirm? Or simply that with the polite distance that most customers maintain, it never occurs to them to inquire after such things? He imagines it must mean the latter, but the thought of the former situation leaves a somewhat sour taste in his mouth. He swallows it down, opens his mouth to speak again when suddenly it's Sei who continues speaking.

"For most people, as long as nothing disturbs their sense of familiarity, they don't pay much attention to the details. They won't hear an accent unless it's obvious. They won't notice how you dress unless it isn't uniform. It's a way to preserve their sense of self and stability. As long as everything's in order, there isn't a problem to be addressed. If something changes little by little, surely it can't cause a catastrophe, can it?" His voice is even, methodical, as his hands continue their work of preparing Theo's order, tucking each item carefully in the box before pressing it shut. He turns, resting the box on the counter between Theo and himself before his gaze lifts to meet Theo's.

Theo feels his breath catch in his throat, unease settling in his stomach. Sei isn't smiling at him.

It only lasts a moment, however, before his lips curve, the familiar smile settling onto his face as he asks. "Will that be all today, Theo?"

Theo is caught, trapped in the tableau of finding himself unable to process what's been said to him, what he's just witnessed. Unable to put his thoughts to words, he clears his throat, forcing out a familiar, "That will be all. Thank you, Sei," before he takes the box and leaves.

He makes his way outside, turning towards the crosswalk and walking until he's just out of view of the bakery before his feet freeze beneath him.

The answer Sei gave him was hardly the answer he'd expected. It wasn't even an answer to his question at all. Yet more than that, the force of Sei's words had made him realize the details that his own mind had brushed over, the small discrepancies that had seemed perfectly normal, but that drew him in nonetheless. At that moment he'd realized that the smile he'd seen on Sei's face week after week now, the polite smile that Sei favored him with whenever he came in the door was a smile that never reached his eyes.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An unexpected present helps Theo find his resolve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another Tuesday, another chapter! [epiproctan](http://archiveofourown.org/users/epiproctan/pseuds/epiproctan) on beta as always.

The expression on Sei's face stays with Theo all the way until he reaches his desk. It isn't as though he hadn't recognized that the way that Sei greeted him every week was little more than a professional courtesy, something perfunctory and polite, born out of the necessity dictated by standards of customer service. Yet still, he hadn't expected to witness the true extent of how it differed from Sei's real emotions, or rather, the emotions that Theo had read in the fixed gaze that Sei had given him today.

It feels as though a mask had been pulled aside, that Theo had been made privy to something hidden and secret. Yet even laid bare before him like that, there was some meaning that remained hidden deeper still that he can't even begin to comprehend.

The entire encounter leaves only one question clear in Theo's mind. "Why?"

He knows that his encounter with Sei that night on the platform had been only by chance. The fact that they continue to see one another is merely circumstance, nothing more. A sense of familiarity did seem to be budding between them, at least from Theo's perspective, over the past few weeks. Yet despite their brief exchanges over the bakery's counter and pastry display case, today's encounter had marked the only one where Theo felt that the topic had bordered on anything potentially private. Even still, despite the question that he'd asked, nothing that Sei had said had revealed any sort of significant information regarding himself or his life.

So why would Sei allow that mask to slip? Why would he show Theo something that he'd done a very admirable job of keeping hidden so far?

Caught up in the flurry of his own thoughts, Theo barely notices when his supervisor, a taller man in his late twenties named Gilbert with an impressively shaggy mop of dark brown hair atop his head, knocks lightly at the wall of his cubicle.

Theo snaps to attention immediately, his cheeks tinging slightly with an embarrassed flush.

"Gilbert--" he stammers, "Good morning. Do you need me for something?"

"Oh, no," the older man waves his concern off with an anxious smile. Theo always feels that perhaps it makes the man nervous to be designated to give orders to the president's own son. He tires to be as acquiescing as possible to ease the worry, yet sometimes he wonders if Gilbert is simply a nervous person by nature.

"I just stopped by the break room and it looks like your order got mixed up with the rest."

"My order?"

"It had your name on it," Gilbert says, holding out a small white paper bag to Theo. Just as he said, there across the top of it, written with neat black letters is his name.

"Oh..." Theo stares. Gilbert runs his hand through his hair, letting out a rough breath.

"The company always pays for the breakfast, so you don't have to get yourself anything, you know. If there's not enough, just let me know."

"Oh--yes! No!" Theo says, reaching out to take the bag from Gilbert in a rush. "There's always more than enough. I'm very grateful for that. I only--ah--I wanted something to save for a snack later. I wouldn't want to take away from someone's breakfast just to suit my own needs, so that's why I bought it."

"Oh, so that's all," Gilbert says, the tension slipping from his posture.

"Yes, that's it," Theo says with a small nod. "Thank you for bringing it over. I'd be in trouble if you hadn't realized it was mixed in with the rest."

"Don't worry about it. Anyone else here would have done the same, since it's got your name on it. But while I've got you here..." 

Theo quickly sets the bag and his earlier thoughts aside as Gilbert launches into the details of his tasks for the day. They need his eyes on a new set of reporting data to check for errors, as well as a draft of a proposal based on information that several of the other members of the team had sent to him. A meeting with some of the higher level executives is coming up within a few weeks, and Gilbert wants Theo to be involved in the presentation for their department's performance and projections.

Of course, the work won't be handled by Theo alone, but he understands how important the tasks he's been given are to the success of their team as a whole. He throws himself into it wholeheartedly, completely forgetting the morning's concerns until the lunch hour comes and he finds himself sitting at his desk, staring at the bag that bears his name.

There is no doubt in his mind who it was that put it there. Yet when he replays the exchange that he and Sei had shared that morning, he doesn't recall seeing the other man put anything extra into the box. Writing a name out like this would have taken time, but the implications that leads to in Theo's mind only raise more questions.

He purses his lips, curiosity pressing at the forefront of his mind, and opens the bag. Inside is a tiny bundt cake, expertly marbled and golden brown on the outside, with a light dusting of powdered sugar on top. Of course, the sugar has melted, somewhat, sinking into the dough that still seems springy and moist to the touch.

He's had the bakery's cakes before. The office is fond of ordering from them for celebrations or different functions. Yet when he tears a piece of the cake off and puts it to his mouth, there is something ever so slightly different to the flavor. It's as sweet as he expected, the insides soft and evenly textured, but something else stands out, drawing out the sweetness of the vanilla, the nutty undertones of the cocoa, highlighting them together.

It really is much better than the cakes he's had before. He feels a little embarrassed at himself to think as much. Is it just because of the connection to Sei? There's no doubt that the other man made the cake and left it there for him. He's touched by the gesture, truly. Perhaps his sense of gratitude is impairing his perceptions?

Sighing, chagrined, Theo shakes his head to clear the thoughts from his mind. This is ridiculous. He can't let himself get so preoccupied with his assumptions as to what might have happened. It could very well have been a mistake, a note written on the bag to help remind Sei of whose order it was. There very well could be no significance at all to the cake he'd been given.

He looks up to his computer display to check the time. There's still enough time left in his lunch break. Although the bakery is likely to be busy at this hour with the lunch time rush, Theo knows that approaching the situation directly is the best way to answer the thoughts swirling in his mind. Determined, he rises from his desk, wallet in hand, and heads for the elevators.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Theo's confrontation doesn't go quite as planned.

The cafe is doing considerably well over the lunch time rush. The pastries that occupy the display case during the breakfast hour have been shuffled mostly to the side, their inventory depleted, with the empty space replaced by neatly wrapped sandwiches housed in the bakery's own freshly made breads. The few small tables that occupy the open floor space are taken by men and women in suits and casual wear alike. They all chat away amiably, making the most of their escape from the office before lunch draws to a close.

Theo finds himself standing at the tail end of a line that snakes around the bakery's far wall and even out the door to the sidewalk outside. Regret immediately sets in at his choice. While the morning rush does seem to be spread out over a longer period of time, lunch breaks do tend to be more consistent. What's more is he's hardly here to patron the bakery's business, he only wants an answer to a simple question. Of course, he can buy something. In fact, he'll be sure to, just so that he isn't a bother to the rest of the staff.

However, as he cranes his neck to peek through the window and between the bodies in line before him, he feels his heart catch in his throat. Sei isn't behind the counter, and he doesn't seem to be working the display either. If he'd been there this morning, it's true that his shift could be over already. Theo doesn't know much of baking, but he knows that the early shifts for places like this tend to start quite early in the day, meaning that Sei could have very well worked a full day before lunch even set in.

He's a frequent customer of the cafe, so perhaps it wouldn't seem strange of him to ask after one of their employees, but he feels that for something as simple as asking clarification even that much would be presuming too much.

Caught up in his thoughts, mindlessly following the slow advance of the bakery line, Theo doesn't even realize that he's at the threshold of bakery until he feels a body brush against his, leaving the bakery through the gap in the door. He jolts, looking up, cheeks flushed as he stammers an apology only to find the words dying in his throat at the sight of the person before him.

"Oh," Sei says. "It's Theo."

"Sei--" he swallows, finding his voice again, "I'm sorry. That was terribly rude of me. I wasn't paying attention."

"It's fine," Sei says, easily sidestepping to clear the entryway for the customers behind him making their way out. He's dressed in the same coat that Theo saw him in that day at the platform, the length of his apron looking almost like a dress with the way it conceals the rest of his figure. He isn't smiling, not now, but instead there's a sense of curiosity to his gaze, his head tilting as he regards Theo.

"Did you come for lunch? I've never seen you with the lunch rush before."

"I--ah--it isn't quite for lunch, or rather...I should say..." he fumbles. In his rush to make his way to the bakery and worries over whether Sei would be working, he realizes that he hasn't even put any sort of proper thought to what to say, to how to address the situation before him. He can feel his cheeks burn, ducking his head. Honestly, he's such a child to behave like this. He knows his purpose, all he needs to do is set his mind to it. Squaring his shoulders, he turns his head back up, mind clear, only to hear Sei speak.

"Did you come to see me?"

The words blow all of Theo's bravado away as if it were nothing more than a piece of paper caught on the wind. He nods meekly in reply. "Yes. That's why I'm here."

"Hm," Sei purses his lips, regarding Theo with a gaze that he finds he's becoming more familiar. It pierces through him with his intensity, leaving him feeling as if he's bared his every foolish thought to the man standing in front of him. Yet he finds himself captivated by it nonetheless. He refuses to look away.

"I thought so," Sei says, and it doesn't make any sense to Theo at all.

"You--did?"

"Mhm," Sei nods. The two of them shuffle further along in the line. "Did you have something you wanted to talk to me about?"

"Ah--yes, I did," Theo confirms. "But how did you--"

"Wait just a minute," Sei interrupts, turning his gaze from Theo's to the side. Theo blinks, confused, and follows his gaze when he suddenly realizes that they've come to the front of the line. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Sei's smile return, the same as it's always been.

"Sei? I thought I just let you go!" the man behind the counter, an attractive blond with bright blue eyes, smiles, a genuine smile, and waves his tongs at Sei. "I'm not letting you pick up my shift today."

"I'm not here for that, Lukas," Sei replies with a playful lilt to his voice. "Do you think you could do me a favor, just this once?"

"That depends on the favor," Lukas says, arching an eyebrow. His gaze slips over to Theo, sweeping over him as if he's sizing the younger man up, before he looks back to Sei. Something changes in his smile just then, but Theo finds himself too flustered to place it. "What'll it be, Sei?"

"Just a treat for Theo here," Sei says, nodding to Theo without looking away from Lukas once. His hands are clasped behind his back, and there's something to the tilt of his shoulders, the line of his hips that Theo doesn't think he's ever seen before, at least not from Sei himself. "Something nice, on the house. Would you do that for me, Lukas?"

Lukas sighs, shaking his head while reaching into the display case to grab a sandwich. It seems he's already surrendered. "You know if the boss hears about this, he'll take it out of your paycheck."

"I don't mind that."

"Of course you don't," Lukas says with a weariness that makes Theo wonder at the nature of their relationship. Yet before he has a chance to ask anything more, Lukas's gaze is fixed on him, the warm smile resting back over his lips. "Theo, right?"

"Oh--yes," Theo says with a nod. "I'm Theo. I work at the office building across the way--"

"Ah, right. You're in on Fridays to pick up one of the pastry orders, aren't you?"

"I am, yes."

"Well, I suppose there's no harm in giving our loyal customers something nice every once in a while," he says, nodding to himself as he sets about wrapping the sandwich he's selected in paper. "How do you feel about Leberkäse?"

"Yes--that's fine," Theo stammers, and before he knows what's happened, he's following Sei out the door of the bakery, sandwich in hand, as the other man waves goodbye to Lukas behind the counter.

The second they're out of the flow of traffic, Sei turns to him, his expression settled once more, and asks, "Where do you want to go?"

"To go?" Theo asks, still somewhat dumbfounded.

"Mhm, to talk," Sei says. "Unless you wanted to talk here in the street."

"It was just a question," Theo says, suddenly feeling that he's been swept along in something that he doesn't quite understand. Grasping to find himself in the flow that Sei's established, he looks up at the other man, letting out a rough breath through his lips. "In this morning's delivery, there was a bag with my name on it."

"There was," Sei says, "I put it there."

"It had a bundt cake inside of it."

"It did. I made it."

"I thought as much," Theo says, tension still thrumming through his body, the energy of it almost palpable against his skin. "What I wanted to talk to you about--what I wanted to ask, that is--is why it was there."

"Why?" Sei shifts, crossing his arms behind his back as he regards Theo with an even gaze. "It's because I put it there."

"No--I didn't mean that," Theo presses on, grasping at some sort of comprehension like a man lost in river rapids. "I wanted to know why you put it there."

"Ah, so that's it," is all Sei says.

Theo can feel a frown tugging at the corners of his lips. Has he overstepped his bounds? Perhaps it really was too much to presume that there was something behind it, that it was anything more than a misunderstanding--

Sei's gaze drops from his, turning to the sidewalk beneath their feet before he turns, looking out over the road. The city street is no less busy during the lunch hour, cars carrying passengers to and from lunchtime meetings and errands. Theo's thoughts silence themselves at the strange weight of the gesture, at the sense of melancholy it holds. A silence stretches between them, and Theo can't even try to place how long it is before a sigh slips from Sei's lips and he turns to face Theo again.

"Maybe we should find someplace to talk," he says and, at that moment, Theo finds he doesn't mind seeing where the current Sei's dragged him into will carry them.

He nods, quiet, and follows as Sei leads the way down the road.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A meeting in the park.

Sei leads him to a park only a few blocks away. Theo's walked past it himself, but only in passing. It's the same as most city parks, though--a few winding paths with benches, trees and bushes planted to instill a sense of greenery and nature within the city center. He follows Sei to an unoccupied bench and sits next to him, a polite distance away. Sei doesn't look to him as he does. Instead his eyes seem to wander across the park itself, never lingering long on any one thing in particular, but rather seeming to look into the distance, unfocused.

Theo sits, waiting. Sei had expressed an interest in talking, so he doesn't want to interrupt the other man's thoughts. Yet it isn't long before Sei finally turns, regarding him with a slight tilt of his head.

"Aren't you going to say anything?"

"Ah--me?" Theo asks, eyes wide in surprise.

Sei nods, never taking his eyes off of Theo. "You came down at lunch when you've never come before. It wasn't just because of what I left for you, was it?"

"But that was--my intention," Theo says slowly, frowning around the words. He feels the weight of something behind Sei's words. Some meaning that he's perhaps missed. Yet even facing him now, he can't place what it is. "I thought it was strange of you to leave something like that for me, especially after our conversation this morning. I thought that maybe, perhaps, it was some sort of mistake--ah--though not quite a mistake. Perhaps more like a marking? Something for your own reference that you'd left in the package..." His words trail off, head ducking. "I'm sorry, I'm rambling now, aren't I? It's very rude of me."

"I don't mind."

When Theo looks back up, Sei's expression almost perfectly mirrors the nonchalance of his words. The way he watches Theo feels almost as if he's examining a puzzle or unraveling a difficult question. Something in his gaze feels as though he's trying to find an elusive answer, or place a piece that doesn't quite fit. It brings a flush to Theo's cheeks.

"That's very kind of you," Theo says, smiling faintly.

"It isn't kindness," Sei says. Then he pauses, as though the words had slipped out from his mouth without his notice. With a soft exhale he continues, regardless. "I wrote your name to give you an excuse."

"An excuse?"

He nods. "You've taken an interest in me, haven't you?"

Theo finds his flush deepening, his heart racing faster against his chest. As close as they are now, it's foolish to think that Sei wouldn't notice. He swallows, nodding slightly as he lowers his gaze. "--You could say that I have. I didn't want to presume overmuch but--I would call it an interest, yes."

"Is it presumptuous to declare your own feelings?"

If it weren't for almost worried quality that lies in the face Sei asks him that question with, Theo would almost have thought that he heard something teasing in the other man's tone. Yet the line of his mouth, the furrow between his brows, tells Theo that there's much more to this than the levity of his voice might imply.

"It isn't," he answers, carefully. "But at times it may be. Even something as simple as declaring my own feelings can create strain or tension in a relationship. It may only be words, but in speaking them it exposes a truth that you wouldn't have been aware of otherwise, doesn't it? Truth isn't something that you can escape from--and with me sitting right here, it would only be natural to worry about what you should do in response to my words, how you should react, things like that...I think, in that way, it can be very presumptuous."

Silence stretches between them. Theo purses his lips, trying to overcome the knot gathering in his stomach and the sound of his heart beating against his ears by force of will alone. He honestly hadn't meant to say so much. Even if he hasn't spoken to his experiences directly, simply the phrasing of Sei's question, the distance look on his face, dredges up memories and regrets that he could never quite push aside.

He can hear his father's voice, a steady and commanding tone in his ears, informing Theo of how he thought it would be best for him to start work at the company as soon as possible, before his studies were complete. He can see his mother, glancing down the hallway and remarking on how proud she was of Theo's marks, how she wished he'd continue to perform so well in a voice that was sure enough to carry through the doors that stood closed beyond her. He can feel the empty air that his hand had closed on when he'd last reached for his brother only to be met with an empty stare and a gruff warning that he shouldn't come any closer.

They are only be words, but the weight of them is heavier some days than others. Even if he can't completely remove that weight from his own shoulders, at least somehow Theo wishes there was a way that his own words can prove to not be such a burden, that perhaps they can lighten someone's burden instead, lifting it up and allowing them to rise and move forward--

"You're a very different sort of person," Sei says, suddenly pulling Theo back from the depths of his thoughts.

"--I am?" he asks, dumbfounded.

Sei nods. "But you don't need to apologize," he goes on, rising from the bench as he does. "I think that in the end, I was the one who may have been presumptuous."

"I don't think I quite understand..." Theo rises as well, sandwich still clutched in his hand.

"I thought that I might have known what you wanted. But in the end it seems that I was mistaken."

"Sei?"

"It's almost time for you to head back to the office, isn't it?"

In a flustered hurry, Theo checks his watch, eyes widening as he sees the time. "Ah--you're right, I still haven't eaten--oh--I didn't thank you for the sandwich earlier. I really am touched that you would do that for me."

"Don't mention it," Sei says, nodding offhandedly.

"Yes, well--I'll be going then."

Theo turns, taking all of three steps before a realization strikes him. It's met almost immediately with a gripping anxiety, the worry that's plagued him for the day of how far might be too far, if he's making too much of nothing--but something else, something stronger and almost foolhardy seizes him instead and he turns, calling out to Sei's retreating back.

"Sei--just what did you want to give me an excuse for?"

Sei's steps pause. He doesn't turn. For a moment Theo thinks he won't, imagines that somehow in light of everything else, of the strange relationship that's forged between them, that this will be what pushes Sei away. 

Yet after a beat he does, looking to Theo with a thoughtful gaze before he simply answers, "I'll see you next week, Theo."

Then, he smiles. It's a smile that's unlike the one that Theo's seen before, unlike the forced polite expression in the cafe, or the playful curve of lips that Theo saw him share with Lukas.

The very sight of it leaves him so shocked that he can only nod dumbly in reply, watching as Sei turns again and walks away.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Theo and Sei continue to spend more quality time together.

True to Sei's word, Theo sees him the next Friday. He can't quite place it, but there's something that seems to have changed in the other man's disposition. He seems to move more naturally, speak a little more easily, and, most of all, his smile is the same as the one that Theo remembers from their exchange at the park last week.

It catches Theo completely off guard when he sees it coming in. He nearly forgets his words, fumbling over them as he tries in vain to fight the flush rising to his cheeks. There's certainly no way that Sei doesn't notice it, but even if he has, he refrains from commenting.

The order is ready behind the counter this time, there's no need for Sei to busy himself putting it together, but this time as he hands it over to Theo, he drops his voice, his tone almost a conspiratorial whisper, saying, "Today it's a creampuff," with that same playful smile across his lips.

"O-Oh, thank you very much," Theo stammers, taking the box and making his way from the store perhaps a little quickly.

He opens the box as soon as he's in the breakroom at work and, sure enough, sitting there on top of the other various pastries is a small bag with his name written on it. He takes it, peeking inside, and can see the golden brown crust of a delicately baked cream puff, punctured at one side with a small bit of custard escaping the hole where it was filled. It's no mistake this time, he's sure of it, even if he can't be certain of just what would motivate Sei to leave such a thing for him.

He takes it, eats it quickly before the custard leaves the flaky crust over saturated, and marvels at the sweetness of it, the delicate crumble of the pastry, the even balance of the custard within.

Whatever other doubts Theo might have, he's swiftly becoming quite well convinced of Sei's skill as a baker if nothing else.

The day's work moves quickly, as always. Gilbert stops by on occasion to check Theo's progress on the projects he's assigned. Seeing the hard work that Theo's put in does seem to do something to assuage his usually harried nerves, which Theo is happy to see. 

Lunch comes quickly enough, and this time there's no hesitation in Theo's steps as he makes his way down and across the street, waiting patiently outside the bakery's doors until he sees a familiar face slipping through the crowd to make his escape.

"Ah, Sei," he calls out, moving quickly to follow after the other man.

Sei stops at the sound of Theo's voice, turning, and fixing him with a curious gaze when his eyes find Theo trailing behind him. 

"Theo. Did you have something you wanted to talk to about today as well?"

"Oh, no, that's not it," Theo says, "I mean--I did have something I wanted to say, but it's not the same as it was last week."

"I see," Sei nods to him, stepping aside to make way for the line stretching out of the bakery. "Then, what is it?"

Theo nods in return, flustering a little at how silly he feels it must make him look, and looks up to Sei with an earnest expression. "I wanted to thank you for the creampuff this morning. It was very delicious."

Sei stares at him, only for a moment, a wide eyed expression that seems to be almost surprised or shock, but Theo can't quite place it as either of those. Before he can identify the fleeting emotion it vanishes, replaced by Sei's smile, the smile that makes Theo's heart beat faster in his chest until he feels as though it's been caught in his throat.

"I'm glad you enjoyed it, Theo," Sei says.

Theo wonders why he suddenly feels so light headed. He nods quickly, trying to dispel it, swallowing away the lump in his throat, when suddenly he finds words pouring out instead.

"I was also wondering, since the weather is very nice today, perhaps you'd like to join me in the park again? Of course, if you have any other obligations, I would understand completely. I wouldn't want to inconvenience you, since it's a rather sudden request, I only--"

"All right," Sei says, his soft voice quickly silencing Theo's rambling request.

Theo blinks, repeating the words back to him, "All right?"

"Mhm," Sei nods. "I don't really have any plans today. A walk in the park seems nice."

"Ah--it does, doesn't it?"

"It was your suggestion, wasn't it?" Sei says, a playful lilt curling under his words.

Theo flushes, "It was. I'm sorry, I must sound rather silly right now."

"You sound like yourself," Sei says. "I don't mind it."

Despite the simplicity of Sei's words, somehow Theo feels that he's been paid a very high compliment. It leaves a warmth bubbling in his chest, drawing a smile to his lips.

"Then, shall we go?" he asks, his enthusiasm evident in his voice.

"After you," Sei says. He falls into step with Theo easily, the two of them slowly making their way to the nearby park.

Despite Theo's intentions to find an answer to the question that Sei had evaded at their last meeting, he finds himself instead entirely occupied with answering the relentless questions that Sei puts to him today. It's simple things, Sei wants to know what sort of work he does for his father's company, what sort of subjects he's studying in university, which ones does he enjoy, which ones does he dislike.

Theo finds himself nearly glowing under the attention and feels wholly like a child for it, but there's another part of him that doesn't mind at all. With each story he relates to Sei, each new bit of information about even the most trivial things like homework and study groups, presentations and business reports, Sei favors him with such rapt attention and eager responses that in any other circumstance he might feel as though he were being patronized. Yet something to the intensity of Sei's gaze, something about the way his eyes fix on Theo as he speaks, studying him as he takes in his every word, leaves Theo thinking that it certainly can't be that way.

He earns enough of Sei's smiles in that short hour alone that even after they part Theo feels strangely like he's floating. He doesn't remember much of the remainder of the work day, though he's certain that he was at work, that his tasks were accomplished in the end. The feeling follows him all the way home, back to his apartment, until he at last falls into bed for the evening.

He finds himself staring up at the ceiling, willing his mind to draw up the image of Sei's smile, of the slight turn at the corner of Sei's dark eyes, of the soft eagerness that came through in his voice when he'd asked Theo to tell him more about this class or that professor's work. Even remembering it now, the thought makes Theo's cheeks flush, his heart race in his chest.

It isn't as though he's never told those sort of stories before. His coworkers will always ask after his schoolwork, and his fellows at school have their curiosities at the sort of work he does. Theo's very used to speaking to his own experiences, his father has always told him it's an essential skill for a good businessman to be able to speak well of himself. Yet even in those encounters, he's never felt the same sort of intensity, the same sort of captivation that he found in Sei's gaze.

It's almost as though rather than simply for the sake of hearing of a new story or experience, rather than measuring Theo against some sort of standard or trying to gain some sort of useful information from his exploits, that Sei was interested for no other reason than wanting to hear more of Theo himself. Theo finds himself flushing at the thought, but it hardly stops him. It was something like that, wasn't it? It had felt that no matter what sort of stories Theo had told that Sei would have given him that attention regardless.

He wants to give Sei more of that, he thinks with a sudden intensity. Whatever Sei would ask of him, he wants to share it. And, by the same turn, he wants to know more. Though this afternoon the focus of their conversation had been entirely on Theo himself, it only intensifies his curiosity about Sei. What were Sei's reasons for asking him so many questions? Why had Sei tried to draw him out in the first place? What sort of experiences had given even Sei's smiles that strange sense of depth and loneliness that seemed to draw Theo in all the more? He was pleased that the time he spent with Sei had seemed to dispel that to a degree, but as much as he had told Sei of himself, he wanted to hear of Sei's experiences as well.

Sleepily, his thoughts wander, wondering at what stories Sei might have to tell of his own life, and Theo finds himself slowly drifting off to the thought of Sei's smile and the quiet timber of his voice.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Theo takes a risk and comes to learn a little more about Sei.

"Can I ask you something?" Theo says one day, sitting in the park with Sei.

Their lunch meetings, like their morning exchanges, have quickly become a regular occurrence. With summer well in swing and the students from local schools on their breaks, they sometimes found themselves vying for a place to sit that was comfortable and well shaded. Either way, Sei never seemed to mind. With the end of Theo's lectures for the term as well, his hours at the office had increased, but he hadn't yet found the courage to tell Sei or stop by the bakery on any day but a Friday.

Sometimes he feels that there's something so delicate in their weekly ritual that he worries the slightest disturbance might destroy it. That's why the questions he wants to ask about Sei, about his past, his interests, his family, are all held inside until they build to a breaking point and push themselves from his mouth in moments like these.

Yet for all Theo's worries, Sei doesn't seem bothered by it in the least. He turns his head to Theo, looking away from a young boy leading his father on a rather enthusiastic chase across the park, and tilts his head. "You've already asked something, haven't you?"

Theo smiles, lightly. This is a part of Sei that he's slowly seen grow over the weeks they've spent together. It's the same sort of light, playful tone that he had favored Lukas with before. It doesn't sound teasing, not to Theo's ears, but rather almost like Sei is trying to maintain a degree of levity that distracts the conversation from himself. Theo knows when he hears it that if he pushes too far, he might lose the smiles he's earned from Sei, he might see that lonely look in his eyes. That's why he treads carefully, trying to match Sei in his tone.

"I suppose I have. But I'd like to ask something else as well, if I might."

"Hmm..." Sei hums, making a show of contemplating whether he'll grant Theo permission or not. At least so far, the answer has always been the same. "Go on," he says, nodding to Theo.

"I've always noticed that the pastries that you make display an incredible degree of skill."

"Thank you," Sei accepts the compliment with a gracious smile. "That's a strange sort of question though."

"Ah, that's not quite it," Theo says, pushing onward. "What I wanted to ask is where you learned to bake? Or rather--what gave you an interest in it, I suppose."

"Hm..." 

Sei looks back out over the park again, his eyes following the young boy before they drop to where his hands are folded in his lap against the dark fabric of his jeans. Even in the warm summer weather, Sei's wardrobe is mostly blacks and whites, long pants and long sleeve shirts. Theo's wondered at why he doesn't expose his skin, but that question he knows would be too much.

"I taught myself, for the most part. Lukas taught me some as well," Sei says, his feet kicking out slowly from under the bench. "When I first started at that bakery I was a cashier, you know."

"You worked your way up from there?" Theo asks, unable to keep the surprise from his voice.

That earns him a sidelong glance and a faint smile from Sei's lips. "That's right. But baking isn't very hard. It's only equations and calculations. You need precision, but once you understand how the elements interact with one another there's nothing you can't achieve."

Having no knowledge of baking himself, Theo could only nod in ignorant agreement to Sei's words. "I see...so you had a talent for it."

"I think you could say that," Sei says. He nods a moment later, confirming the thought to himself. "I think it's something like that. It wasn't too different from what I already knew, but it was different enough that it wasn't the same."

"Is that why...?" Theo's lips move on their own accord, the question dying as his thoughts catch up and he realizes he may be prying too far.

To his surprise, Sei shakes his head without missing a beat. "That's not why I do it. I do it so there's something to be continued."

"I don't think that I quite understand."

"It's all right if you don't," Sei says.

Theo's heart twinges in his chest at the weight of Sei's words. He turns away, looking down to the half eaten sandwich in his hands. He's asked Sei because he'd wanted to know more, because he wants to understand him. If Sei himself denies that, if Sei doesn't wish to be understood, how can Theo convince him otherwise?

Even if it means that the loneliness carried in Sei's words seems too much for Theo himself to bear, he can't impose himself on Sei. As much as he is eager to know more, to hopefully share with Sei the same sort of intimacy in knowledge that Sei has of Theo's own life, it isn't his place.

He opens his mouth, an apology ready on his tongue, when suddenly Sei speaks again.

"It's a reason for there to be a tomorrow."

Sei's voice is quiet. Theo's gaze jerks toward him, and he can see a sort defeat in the line of Sei's shoulders, in the way his hands hold each other, his dark eyes watching them with a distant expression.

Theo wants to wipe it away. He desperately wants for there to be something that he can do to make it so that whatever emotions inside of Sei that have shown themselves like this are completely erased. He opens his mouth again, only to find his words caught in his throat, his entire body thrumming with the urgent need to do something, say something, lest he allow Sei to sit and suffer in silence.

Sei doesn't seem to notice him, or anything else for that matter, his lips slowly moving as he carries on.

"When you make bread, there's periods of rest while you're making it. You need to let the dough proof so that the flavor develops, so that the yeast ferments and makes the bread rise. If I work the morning, I mix the dough during the day, after the lunch rush, so it has time to proof. If I work the evening, I shape the dough and set the loaves to cool and proof again. If it doesn't proof overnight, the flavor isn't the same, the customers won't like it. If I don't start the proof in the morning, it won't be ready for the evening and there won't be any bread to sell. Each morning, I have to bake the bread from the night before, I make more in the afternoon, and in the evening it sits and proofs. If I wasn't there in the morning, what would happen?"

"The dough...would go to waste, wouldn't it?" Theo ventures, his voice as solemn and quiet as Sei's.

Sei nods, his gaze still fixed on his hands. "That's right. It'd go to waste. Because I'm there, the bread proofs, it bakes, we sell it. It cycles like that, so every day there's a reason why I have to be there tomorrow. Otherwise, there's no proof of myself."

"Why would you think that?" Theo says, a sudden insistence in his words drawing Sei's gaze up to his face.

"Theo?"

"It does make sense, what you've said about the bread and how you make it. I don't know much about baking myself, but I understand why it's important to make sure that all preparations are in order so that the business succeeds. But that sort of thing--" he pauses, drawing in a sharp breath, his words and his thoughts a jumble in his mind as he tries to push them out. 

"--That sort of thing might be something that's uniquely yours. It's true that when I eat your pastries, when I taste the things that you've made for me, I know without a doubt that you're the one who's made them. I don't think anyone else's would taste the same. But a person is more than merely the sum of their accomplishments. Even if you failed one day, even if the loaves didn't proof or if something happened, that wouldn't leave the world without proof of who you are, Sei. The fact that we're here together, that you're talking to me, sharing this moment with me, isn't that proof as well? The fact that you've spent time with Lukas and the other at the bakery, that all those customers you see every day are people you've shared something with, even if it's only fleeting, doesn't that count for something? Why is there only a reason for tomorrow if there's something that can be measured in what you've done--?"

Theo cuts himself off, abruptly, teeth biting into his lips as he stares into Sei's eyes, wide now with the force of Theo's words. Theo knows he's said too much, gone too far now, but he doesn't regret it. He had to do something, he couldn't just sit idly by and listen to Sei saying something like that.

Slowly, he draws a breath, dropping his gaze in a gesture of surrender.

"I'm sorry if it's presumptuous of me to say as much. But I really can't agree with that way of thinking. I think that there's much more to you than what you make, Sei."

Silence stretches between them. His focus no longer fixed on Sei and his words, Theo can hear the sounds of the park around them again. There's snatches of conversation from couples passing by, the squeal of children and the occasional chatter of birds in the trees. Yet from Sei, there is nothing until a near-whisper rises.

"...It isn't presumptuous, Theo."

"Thank you," Theo says the words out of habit. He packs his lunch away hastily, pushing himself up from the bench without looking to Sei once. "It's very kind of you to say so. But I really should be getting back."

"You're right," Sei says.

Theo takes only one step away before he pauses. His heart is hammering against his chest, his palms sweaty and his mind a jumble of thoughts racing back and forth in a way that he can't make heads or tails of. He doesn't know what he's doing, why he's leaving, but he turns back, slowly lifting his head to look back on Sei one last time.

Sei is watching him. He wonders if Sei has even looked away once. His mouth is drawn in a thin line, the corners of his eyes creased with a look that Theo feels pulling at him like a physical force pushing at his back. Theo swallows, pushing the feeling away.

"I'll...see you next week?" he asks.

"If you'd like to," Sei says. His gaze drops back to his hands, and Theo can't find an answer or will his legs to moves, so he stands, captivated until Sei looks up at him again.

There's something that's changed in his expression even in the space of such a brief moment. He meets Theo's gaze, and simply adds, "But I think I'd like to see you tomorrow."


	8. Chapter 8

They meet in a restaurant that Theo knows just a little ways away from the office and the bakery. He'd spent the better part of the night agonizing over just what it could mean that Sei wanted to see him again, the very next day, no less. After the questions he'd asked, he was certain that Sei would think he was meddling in his affairs too much and politely ask him to keep his distance.

Yet with a dizzying intensity Theo starts to realize that he can't seem to predict Sei at all, but the thought doesn't worry him. Rather, it leaves his heart caught in his throat, a nervous anticipation tingling under his skin. He wonders if maybe, possibly, there's a chance that his own growing interest in the other man might be returned.

For all that their Saturday meeting seems to have Theo at odds with himself, Sei is as nonplussed as ever. For the first time ever Theo sees him in something other than the bakery's standard uniform. He arrives wearing a loose and thin gray shirt that hangs off of one shoulder with sleeves that run up to the middle of his palms. It's layered over a white tanktop with some sort of black spatter pattern over it. The outfit is completed with tight black jeans and sleek, tall leather boots. On Sei's slight figure, the ensemble almost looks feminine, the draping folds of his shirt concealing a lack of curves, but Theo thinks it suits him nonetheless.

When he tells Sei as much, Sei smiles genuinely and thanks him for the compliment. Theo thinks he can feel his heart skip a beat at the sight of Sei's smile, but he tries to conceal it. Even after they've exchanged greetings, been seated, and given the waitress their orders Theo still can't seem to wrap his mind around what's happening.

"I really hope that you enjoy the food here," he says after the waitress has made her retreat, his hands clasped firmly in his lap.

"It all looked so good, it was hard to decide," Sei says. He's relaxed, sitting back in his chair, dark eyes taking in Theo's tense posture before they seem to soften, his voice dropping slightly with his next words. "You look a little nervous, Theo."

"Oh--yes. I mean--no, ah--that is to say--" Theo fumbles, his cheeks burning red under Sei's scrutiny before he ducks his head, letting out a sign and starting again. "To be honest, I am a little nervous."

"I wonder why," Sei muses. "Have you ever been on a date before?"

"A date--?" He startles, suddenly sitting up straighter in his chair, his eyes wide and fixed directly on Sei. "Is that what you meant--"

"Doesn't it seem that way?" Sei asks with a curious tilt of his head. "I've told you that I wanted to see more of you so now we're spending more time together, just the two of us. Aren't dates like that?"

"Well--yes," Theo says, swallowing as he regains himself with a nod. "It's true that they're often like that. It's natural to want to see more of someone that you're dating. But generally a date is preceded by some sort of...ah..."

"Oh, that's right. Usually you ask someone out first." Sei's lips purse, though they still curl up at the corners in a mischievous sort of smile that makes Theo wonder just what he's thinking, just how he's gotten so caught up in Sei's flow once again. 

"I guess I haven't asked you out yet," Sei says at last, his smile relaxing as he leans forward, resting his hands on the table.

"I don't believe you have," Theo replies. He frowns a little at the remark, eyebrows drawing together as he studies Sei's expression. Was Sei only toying with him? Or was there something else beneath the other man's words? 

"Then that settles it," Sei says, nodding slightly. "There's no need to be so nervous, Theo."

"That's right..." Theo agrees, slowly. The "yet" lingering at the end of Sei's words still plays at the edge of his thoughts, but he pushes it away, for now. "I'm sorry if I've made you nervous as well. I think that perhaps I've just been a little busy at work as of late."

"That's all right. I don't mind it," Sei says, with a soft sort of encouragement under his words. Theo already feels a little more at ease. "It's just what I said. I wanted to see you again today."

"I understand. I'm glad that you do, really I am. I'm very flattered."

"Is it flattery to want to spend time with someone?" Sei feigns an expression of wide eyed curiosity. It takes Theo a moment to realize that it's hardly genuine, but by then he's lost his words, flustered and stammering again.

"No, it's not that--it's only that I feel that I've been somewhat insistent with you, Sei."

"Ah, so that's it," Sei says. He nods again, slower this time, his gaze dropping from Theo's as he looks down to his hands against the table. "It's true that you've sought me out, but I wouldn't think of that as insistent."

"You wouldn't?" Theo asks, leaning forward slightly to try to catch a clearer look at Sei's face.

"I wouldn't." Sei shakes his head, looking back up at Theo. "You've always asked permission, haven't you?"

"Yes," Theo nods, meeting Sei's gaze. "I wouldn't want to be impolite."

"Mhm, but that's what makes you different. You're very determined, but you wouldn't insist on something if I didn't allow it."

"Ah...yes, that's true." 

Theo pauses, wondering for a moment if it's really something so strange to simply ask consent. Yet until now, almost every word from Sei's mouth has seemed strange in one way or another. It's as though he's party to a conversation where he can only make out half of the words. There's some sort of meaning, something left unsaid, in the slight shifts in Sei's eyes, the twitch of his lips, and the thoughts that he won't give voice to.

But all the same, Theo feels now, more than ever, that he can trust in Sei. Despite the distance in their communication, with Sei's words fresh in his mind, mingling with the invitation from the other day that still dances on Theo's memory, he knows that whatever reason he might have, Sei wants to be here, with him, right now.

The thought of it fills him with courage, with a strange confidence that leaves him sitting straighter, shoulders squared as he faces Sei across the table. Sei notices the shift, lifting his eyebrows in question.

"Theo?"

"There was something I wanted to talk to you about, actually," Theo says, amazed at how calm he sounds to his own ears. "Yesterday, when we talked, you shared a great deal with me. It's not something that can be quantified in terms of things that I know about your past or your history, but rather now I feel that I have a clearer understanding of your feelings, Sei."

Sei's expression settles, his smile taking on a more somber cast. It's reminiscent of their conversation the day before, but there's something different in his eyes today. As he watches Theo, nodding slightly, he seems almost at peace. "Thank you, Theo," he says.

"You're welcome," Theo says automatically, catching himself in the habit and smiling a little, chagrined. "Although I should thank you in turn. I said a great deal about my own feelings as well. Even if they may not have been very orderly or concise, I wanted to share them with you as well. And...if you'd like, I'd like to tell you more about myself. More about why I feel the way I do about your situation."

Sei's lips purse, his head tilting as he laces his fingers together against the table, narrowed eyes watching Theo. "Are you asking my permission to talk about yourself?"

"I am, in a way," Theo says with a nod. "I know that it sounds strange, but it isn't something that I'd want to burden you with unless you wished to hear it. I know that you don't think me insistent, or presumptuous, but to share my past with you obligates you, in a way. When people speak of their own strife and struggles, although strangers might ignore such things, there's always a choice placed on the other party. Whether it matters to them or not, whether they'll listen or let it pass them by, whether they feel obligated to do something or nothing. That's why I don't think that asking your permission is something too strange."

For a moment, it looks as though Sei has something to say in reply. His lips part, only slightly, before they purse again. Theo can feel the intensity of his gaze more acutely than before. Sei is watching him, studying him. Theo can't imagine what sort of thoughts are running through his head at that moment, but he doesn't try to, doesn't want to. Those thoughts are Sei's alone.

After a long, silent stretch, Sei nods, urging Theo on. "It's all right, Theo. Go ahead."

Something warms in Theo's heart with those words. It seems like relief at first, but as the feelings settles, it's more like an acceptance. Sei hasn't questioned his words, he's aware of the worry that weighs on Theo's mind and given his consent regardless. He'll make his own choice whether or not he'll accept what Theo has to say.

That alone heartens Theo, bringing a soft smile to his lips as he nods in turn.

"Thank you. Then...I'd like to tell you about my family."


	9. Chapter 9

Although Theo tries to be as brief as he can, they both wind up staying at the restaurant much longer than intended. It's not that Theo means to ramble, but rather it simply takes time to cover all matters in an adequate level of detail.

He tells Sei about his father, strict and exacting. He tells him about his father's unyielding standards, his concerns for their family's social standing, and the intensity of his devotion to the family business and reputation. He tells Sei about his mother, poised and distant. He tells him about his mother's delicate grace and her affections that have only grown colder as time goes on.

Perhaps most important of all, he tells Sei about his brother. He speaks with a quiet intensity about things he's never told to anyone else. Pausing only when the waiter comes to deliver their food at and odd intervals to eat, he relentlessly recounts the story of the older brother he fondly remembers playing with as a child, of how that brother was taken from him because of an illness or some other reason that Theo never quite understood, and of how even after he was taken, when he found his freedom, the choice he made was to leave, to abandon them all and find a life for himself

Sei listens to it all, his dark eyes fixed on Theo, taking in his every word. It's only toward the end, as Theo's explaining his brother's escape to Japan, how it's been over a year now since the last time he contacted their father to make a request for funds, that Sei speaks up in one of Theo's pauses.

"It sounds rather complicated," he says, chin resting on crossed hands as he leans forward against the table over his empty plate. "I can't imagine what it must have felt like for you. But, Theo..."

"Ah, yes?" Theo's eyes have never left him, his own posture somewhat tense and straight, hands suddenly in his lap at Sei's question.

Sei's lips purse, his head ducking slightly before he turns back up to Theo and speaks. "No matter how difficult it's been for you, no matter what's happened to your family, telling me won't change any of it. I understand that you trust me with it. That you're telling me this with that confidence. But still, why are you telling me this?"

Theo was expecting to hear as much. He hadn't told Sei his reasons at first, perhaps because he wanted Sei to understand the situation as a whole before he did. Yet now he realizes he's perhaps rambled on a bit too long. A faint smile tugs at the corner of his lips and he nods.

"I was just about to explain that. I'm sorry to have made you wait to hear it. In truth, the reason why I wanted to tell you about my family was as an explanation for my behavior yesterday."

"Your behavior?" Sei asks, head tilted.

"Yes," Theo says. "Although you may not have thought it presumptuous of me, and perhaps because you did not--because you heard what I had to say and still wished to see me here, today, I wanted you to know why I spoke the way I did."

Theo feels his posture shift, his back straightening, shoulders squaring, as he rests his hands on the table, staring evenly into Sei's dark eyes.

"My father is the sort of man who believes that a man is measured by his accomplishments in life. Lacking the recognition of society for what you have done is a fate worse than death to him. However, I honestly believe that fixation is what caused my brother to leave. Perhaps his aim is to see his sons attain the level of success that he's achieved in his life. I certainly can't fault him for such a noble goal, but in his ambition he caused my brother such harm that my brother feels as though he no longer wants or needs the support of his family. That's something that I...I don't know if I can look kindly on him for that.

"But that's why, Sei, when you told me that you thought your life was nothing more than the tasks you accomplished, that there was no proof to your being beyond those things--I couldn't stay silent. I think that, in a way, I saw my brother in you. I saw someone isolated and alone, who thought that their own feelings and ambitions--that the connections and relationships they shared with others were less important than some sort of physical, tangible result."

Theo pauses, drawing a deep breath. The words are still bubbling up inside him, so much that he can feel a faint tremor in his fingertips, a tremble in his lips. "I wanted to reach out to you because of that. It might be a selfish desire. I know that helping you wouldn't change what's happened to my brother, but that doesn't stop it. I want to help you, Sei. I want to help you see what worth you hold as a person. To prove that to you, that each day is worth living because your life is yours."

Throughout it all, with each word that spills past Theo's lips, Sei doesn't waver once. His dark eyes are sharp and focused on Theo's face, almost as if they're scrutinizing him, taking in every detail, every movement of his lips and eyes as he speaks.

Finished now, Theo feels himself fluster a little under the intensity of it. He licks his lips, nervous, and swallows down some of the anxious feeling left caught in his throat. Only then does Sei move, tilting his head down, examining the empty plate on the table before him, brows knit together slightly. Theo waits, breathing slowly to calm himself, to catch his breath after letting out so many words.

When Sei speaks at last, his words are slow and measured, his lips carefully curling around each one of them.

"You may not think kindly of your father, Theo," he says, "but I think that it's rather impressive that he's raised someone who can be so kind."

"Sei?" Theo asks, blinking in confusion, unsure of what he's just heard.

Sei looks back up to him, a faint smile on his face, his eyes curving at the corners from it. "It's nothing. Thank you, Theo. I'm grateful."

"Ah, you're welcome," Theo says automatically. "But, honestly, it's as I've said, it is rather selfish..."

"It may be," Sei says with a nod. His hands shift on the table, fingers curling and lacing together with slight motions. "Perhaps my way of thinking is selfish as well. But being selfish alone doesn't make it a bad thing, does it?"

"I'm not certain..." Theo says. His eyes are drawn to the motion of Sei's hands, his gaze quickly shifting back up when he catches himself staring.

Sei notices and smiles. He uncurls one hand slowly, extending it out to Theo across the table, his palm held up in an offering.

"I don't mind if you're a little selfish, Theo," Sei says. His voice is quiet and dark, his words drawing Theo in. "I'd like to do what I can to give you what you want."

Theo feels his cheeks flush, suddenly aware of the intimacy of Sei's gesture. Despite their time spent together, the two of them have never touched save for passing brushes of skin against skin when Theo has taken packages from Sei's hands, or when their legs have touched by chance as they sat side by side on park benches. Yet despite this, he isn't afraid. He finds courage in Sei's smile and in the dark light of his eyes.

Raising his hand from his lap, he rests it against Sei's palm, his stomach turning with a giddy energy when Sei's fingers curl around his. His skin is rough and dry in places, perhaps from time spent working the dough at the bakery, but it radiates a gentle warmth. Theo smiles, despite himself.

"I'm very grateful for that, Sei," he murmurs, his voice matching the quiet tenor of Sei's words.

Sei smiles wider, his fingers squeezing against the side of Theo's palm. "Then, there's something I'd like to ask you."

"What is it?" Theo asks with a curious lift to his eyebrows.

"Would you go on a date with me?"

 


	10. Chapter 10

They decide on a date a few nights out. Sei works the late shift so he'll be leaving the bakery around dinner time. They'll go out, have dinner together, and maybe spend some time wandering through one of the city's parks.

"I'll leave the door open for you," Sei tells Theo. "You can come in if I'm not finished yet."

Theo agrees, and the days pass in what feels like the blink of an eye. Even when he sleeps, he can't shake the feeling of butterflies in his stomach, the restless anticipation of seeing Sei again. He's never given much thought to dating or his sexuality before, but it doesn't stop him. He's accepted that whatever he is, he wants to be with Sei. Whatever happens, he trusts in what's started between the two of them.

In the end, Theo does arrive early, though he worries if it might be too early, perhaps, as he lingers outside the bakery door. He can't see Sei inside, but he thinks that he must just be in back, working to finish up preparations for the next day's bread. He frets, paces, before finally steeling himself and putting his hand to the bakery door and pushing.

As Sei promised, the door is unlocked. He steps inside, carefully closing the door behind himself before he turns to the empty cafe and calls out.

"Ah, Sei? I came a little early--I hope it isn't a problem..."

There's no answer.

Theo frowns, checking the time on his watch. He's only a few minutes early now, and he's certain that this was the date they decided on. Could it be that Sei had to step out for a moment--?

Suddenly, there's a sound from the back room. A sudden scuffle and then a crash, followed by the hollow clang of bowl rolling across the floor. Theo's head snaps up at the noise, and when it does he sees an unfamiliar figure leaning against the doorway to the back room.

The man is tall, taller than Theo's father even, a look accentuated by his roughly spiked pale blond hair. He's wearing a suit and tie, although the tie hangs loose about his throat with the top two buttons of his shirt undone and rumpled. He holds himself up with one hand shoved nonchalantly into his pocket, his bright blue eyes narrowing as they take Theo in.

"Shop's closed," he says. His tone is blunt and demanding, a voice that brokers no need for argument.

Under the man's careful scrutiny, Theo can feel a sense of danger rising in the room. He can't quite explain it, but he feels his hair stand on end, his pulse hammering as he fights to swallow the stubborn lump that's risen in his throat. He imagines this must be like what it feels for a mouse, caught in the sights of a predatory cat. His instincts shout at him to hold still, to not draw attention to himself, but he pushes them aside, squaring his shoulders with a stubborn exhale.

"Yes, I'm aware," he says, his voice only wavering a little. "I was meeting with a friend who works here. I don't intend to cause any trouble."

"That so," the man hums, turning his head to glance at something in the back room, hidden from Theo's view by the wall that the man is leaning against. "Wonder if there's any 'friends' back here?"

"I visit this bakery quite often," Theo forces his words out, smiling in hopes that it will somehow help him to maintain the pleasant tone of his voice. "I don't believe that I've made your acquaintance."

"Ah, no," the man's head jerks back to Theo, a grin spread wide across it. "You haven't made that."

"I see," Theo nods. "Where are my manners? My name is Theo. It's a pleasure to meet you..."

"Trip," the man says.

"Trip," Theo repeats, clasping his hands behind his back. His palms are sweating. "It's a unique name isn't it? Where is it from?"

"Who knows," Trip says, pushing himself off the wall at last. He saunters towards Theo with a lazy, confident stride, hands still shoved deep into his pockets. "You...you're here to see him?"

"I've come to see Sei, yes," Theo nods. He feels his stomach twist as Trip moves closer. His knees lock and his throat goes dry. "If he is still here," he adds, a moment later.

Trip only grins, as if he can see what is unseen, as if he can sense Theo's fear. "Yeah, he's still here."

Slowly, Trip draws one hand from his pocket, holding it up, letting the weight of it--long fingers and a broad palm--hang in the air before he claps it to Theo's shoulder in a rough gesture. Theo feels himself startle and sees Trip's grin widen from it.

"Hope you don't mind leftovers, Theo~" Trip says, his voice low and playful, before he pushes past Theo and out of the bakery.

Theo doesn't move, he can't move. His feet are still rooted to the floor, heart racing in his chest so quickly that he feels short of breath. He gasps a moment later, remembers how to move, and turns to see that Trip is out of sight, gone from the view of the bakery's front window. He's never felt that way before, so completely on edge from nothing more than a person's presence. It doesn't sit well with him. His eyes are fixed on the bakery window, out of some bizarre instinctual fear that maybe Trip will show himself again, that maybe he isn't free from danger yet.

His thoughts come crashing back. He remember why he's here. Whipping his head around, he swallows, trying to find his voice again.

"Sei--?"

There's no reply.

He uproots his feet, finding he can move again, and lets them carry him around the counter to the back room. It's a tidy place, on the whole. Stainless steel work tables set in the center with wire shelves holding mixing bowls and ingredients set next to the industrial sized refrigerators and mixers. Sei isn't there, Theo thinks at first. It isn't until his eyes sweep across the room that he sees the mess strewn across one of the worktables, dough and flour scattered everywhere. He looks down to see the bowl that must have fell before, sitting on its side, abandoned, on the floor and just a little ways beyond it a pair of shoes that peek out from behind one of the shelving units.

Cautious, he takes a step forward.

"Sei?" he calls out again, leaning forward and tilting his head to see if he can catch a glimpse around the shelves packed with mixing bowls to see who's waiting beyond them.

He can make out the person's pants, dark black scattered with white streaks of flour across them. He takes another step forward and hears Sei's voice.

"Theo."

It's quiet, quieter than he's ever heard from Sei. Even the short syllable of his name seems to waver with some sort of emotion. Theo stops. He hears Sei draw in a sharp breath, audible even with the distance that divides them.

"It's me," Theo replies. He matches Sei's volume with his voice, keeping his tone quiet and calm. His mind is suddenly a flurry of questions. Who was that man? What happened to him? Why didn't he speak up? Is he all right? Yet instead of seeking any answers, the only words his lips can find are, "I'm sorry, I arrived a little early."

Silence stretches between them. Every moment burns in Theo's throat. He wants to see Sei, to talk to him, to understand what's happened, to reassure him. Yet another part of him, perhaps a more fearful part, tells him that if he moves now, he might not be able to face what he'll see. Sei hadn't answered him, even after Trip was gone. Even now, Sei is still hiding. At the very least, Theo thinks, he should respect that.

It seems like an eternity before Sei speaks again. "I'm sorry, Theo," he says, just as quiet as before, his voice steadier now. "Something unexpected came up."

"It seems that way," Theo agrees, a quiet tinge of irony to his voice. He stops, purses his lips, and swallows that as well. "It's nothing you should have to apologize for."

"Theo?" Sei's voice rises. Theo almost imagines that he can see the look on his face now, brows creased, lips pulled into a slight frown. He smiles at the thought.

"I know that...if it was something that you had been aware of," he begins, speaking slowly with careful deliberation over each word, "That you would have found some way to tell me."

There's a pause. "Do you think so?"

"Ah, yes. Well--I'd like to believe so." Theo nods, flushing slightly when he remembers that Sei can't see the gesture now, but that embarrassment is almost a relief. For what he and Sei have shared, it feels familiar. "I don't believe that you're that rude of a person."

"I don't even have your cell phone number," Sei points out without missing a beat.

"Ah--" Theo's cheeks flush hotter. He laughs, despite himself, ducking his head with the sound. "That is true, isn't it? But--isn't the office number on record with the bakery? If you'd found me through the directory--"

"Oh, that's true," Sei's words lightly cut Theo off. There's a change in his tone. It may only be Theo's imagination, but Sei sounds more relaxed to him now. The thought brings a tentative smile to his face.

"Regardless, if you'd like to reschedule for another time..."

"Would you still want to?"

"Sei?" The question is so quiet that Theo isn't certain he's heard it. He lifts his head, looking to what he can see of Sei from behind the shelf. Sei's feet shift on the ground, his legs drawing back, closer to his body.

"You haven't asked what happened."

"I know." Theo acknowledges the change in their conversation, his shoulders squaring with the shift in tone.

"It isn't as though I don't want to know, or that I'm not worried about you. However, even though my exchange with that man was only brief, I felt an immense sort of pressure from him." He pauses, swallowing as an echo of his earlier fear sends an uncomfortable shiver crawling under his skin. "He doesn't seem like a very good sort of person. That's why I'm worried for you. But at the same time--in light of that--I don't want to show you that same sort of pressure. I wouldn't want to hear from you what's happened unless it's what you would want to tell me."

There's a quiet murmur, a shift of Sei's feet against the ground.

"Sei?" Theo ventures, not even certain if it was Sei's voice that he heard, however soft it was.

"It's all right," Sei says, a little louder this time. "But...could you stay there a minute?"

"Of course," Theo agrees readily. "Whatever you'd like."

"Thank you."

Sei's feet vanish from sight and for a moment all that Theo can hear is the shift of clothing, the jangle of Sei's belt, before he hears Sei's shoes against the floor, sees him slowly step into view around the corner of the shelf. Despite his likely efforts to make himself presentable, it's obvious from Sei's appearance that something transpired between Trip and himself. The flour is scattered across his apron, handprints streaking the fabric where it rests against his hips and thighs. His shirt is disheveled, still hanging untucked from his pants in places. An angry red streak stands out on his lips, a sharp contrast to their usual pale shade--a bite mark. His hair as well is a mess, dark strands falling out of order with flour dusting them in places as well.

Sei isn't smiling. Theo can't place any emotion on the empty expression on Sei's face now. His eyes are dark, staring vacantly at Theo, his mouth set in an even line despite the fact that Theo knows he must be in pain from the bite mark against his lip.

He stares at Sei. He thinks it must be an eternity, it certainly feels like one to him. Yet with each passing moment, each echo of his heart in his ears, he feels his throat tighten and a cold, unforgiving weight settle at the pit of his stomach. It pains him to see Sei this way. Knowing the sort of joy and light that Sei's eyes can hold, even the thought of fathoming what act would rob that light from them leaves him cold.

Maybe if he had been earlier, he thinks with a sting of regret burning behind his eyes. Maybe if he has been stronger, had stood up to Trip instead of being ruled by his fear. But, perhaps the worst thought of all, is knowing that in the end, facing Sei as he is now, there is no way to undo what has been done.

If Sei can see that in his eyes, he makes no comment on it. Slowly, his head turns, his gaze falling to the dough resting against the work table at his side.

"I still need to finish here," he says, his voice quiet, one arm crossed behind his back to catch the other at the elbow. His shoulders curl forward slightly.

Theo nods. He draws in a deep breath, letting it out slowly before he speaks in a hushed tone.

"If there's anything that I can do to help, please let me know."

Sei shakes his head slightly, his gaze fixed on the table. "It's all right. This is the last one."

"I see," Theo says. He quiets, watching as Sei turns to make his way slowly to the sink, washing his hands there. After a moment, he speaks again.

"Once you're finished--that is, if you'd like--my apartment isn't very far from here..."

"Your apartment?" Sei asks, turning back to face him as he dries his hands against the towel next to the sink.

"Yes--I thought that maybe you'd like to wash up--I could make a quick dinner as well. So you'll have something to eat."

Sei sets the towel aside, his eyes fixed on Theo as he moves back across the room, resting one hand against the workstation until he's standing before Theo again.

"Would you want to share something like that with me?" Sei asks. His tone is even, his voice is as unwavering and unchanged as his expression.

The unnerving quality of it sends a chill through Theo's spine, but this time he sees something different in it. In Sei's dark eyes, he can see something almost searching, hopeful. It isn't as though Sei doesn't want this, he thinks, but, perhaps, it's that he doesn't think that Theo would offer it after what he's witnessed.

Firmly, Theo nods in return, meeting Sei's gaze with his own. "I would."

Sei turns away, looking back to the dough at his station, both hands resting on the edge of the metal table. His dark hair falls forward, obscuring his face from Theo's view.

Yet Theo almost thinks he can hear a lightness in Sei's voice as he says, "I'd like that."

Theo smiles despite himself, his lips cautiously tugging upward with a nod. "Then, I'll wait for you."


	11. Chapter 11

Sei is quiet on the way back to Theo's apartment. It isn't an unpleasant sort of silence, Theo thinks, but rather it feels almost cautious, testing. It's not as though Sei doesn't have anything to say, or that Theo doesn't have any questions he wants to ask, but rather that, for now, what's to be said doesn't need to be said and what's to be asked doesn't need to be asked.

Sei walks at his side to the station, sits next to him on the tram, his presence a solid warmth next to Theo, and follows him as he leads the way up into his apartment. Thanks to the generosity of his father, Theo's apartment is spacious and well furnished. The kitchen is separated from the living room by an island, the bedroom and bathroom at opposite sides of a small hallway leading off of the living room. Theo hangs his coat when they get in, holding his hand out to Sei.

"Let me take your apron. I can wash it for you."

Sei turns to him, watching silently. For a moment, Theo worries that he won't reply, that despite their earlier conversation the time Sei's spent alone on their way here has left something that weighs on his mind too heavily. The fear vanishes a moment later as Sei nods, reaching back for the ties on his apron and pulling it over his head.

"Thank you," Theo says, taking it from him. He pauses, lingering a moment longer, his eyes drawn again to the state of Sei's clothes, the faded streaks of flour standing out against his shirt and pants. "I could--" he starts, then stops. He swallows. "I could wash the rest of your clothes, if you'd like to shower. Our sizes don't seem to be too different, I'd be more than happy to lend you something until they're dry."

"That's very generous of you, Theo," Sei says, his voice quiet.

"It's nothing. Please--just wait, I'll find you something."

Theo hurries off to his room, returning a few moments later with a pair of loose pajama pants and a sweatshirt. Sei is somewhat taller than he is, so he thinks the looser fit will be better. When he comes back, he finds Sei in the living room, his fingertips rested against a bookshelf, looking down at an old picture of Theo's family that sits there. Theo pauses, watching silently for a moment. Sei's back is turned to him, his face hidden, but the touch of his hand seems so soft, so gentle, that Theo wonders what Sei might be thinking.

He clears his throat, flustered when Sei turns to look back at him. He holds the clothes out towards Sei in an offering.

"I think that these should fit. If you'd like to wash up, I can make dinner."

"You've kept a picture of him," Sei says.

"Ah--?"

"Your brother," Sei turns back to the picture, drawing his fingers against the shelf where the bottom of the frame rests, tracing its edge without touching. "You want to remember him."

"Oh--yes," Theo nods. His gaze follows to the picture in front of Sei. He can't make out any of the details, across the room as he is, but he knows the picture well enough that he doesn't have to. He's only an infant in that picture, carried in his mother's arms and staring at the camera with a wide-eyed fascination. There must be some sort of toy or device they'd used to catch his attention in that way, his mother once told him that he was quite fussy as a child, never wishing to hold still.

In the picture she stands, light blond hair impeccably styled, her smile serene, her refined posture the definition of poise. By comparison, his father next to her seems cold, even in a photograph. His smile carries the silently assured confidence of a man with exacting standards. His shoulders are sharply squared, lending him a look of quiet severity with the crisp line of his collar, the knot of his tie.

In front of his father stands his brother, Wim. Wim must be no older than four in the picture, yet even at that age Theo can see the ways in which his father's rules have worn on him. Their father's hand rests on Wim's shoulders, which form a tense line under the touch. Unlike his father and mother, Wim doesn't smile. Instead, his mouth is a short, worried line as his bright green eyes stare straight up and into the camera.

Theo has looked at the picture time and time again. He's stared at it some evenings in quiet moments when he wishes that there was some way to find his lost brother, to reach out to him and reconcile what was lost. In those moments, he thinks that he can see the worry and strain at the corner of Wim's eyes. He thinks that in the gaze that Wim shares with the camera there is a plea for help, a plea for understanding and the warmth that his father and mother would come to deny him.

Sometimes, looking down at that picture, Theo wishes that he could reach through the glass of the frame, reach through time to the brother that he sees there, and provide him some sort of reassurance, some sort of love that might endure, that might keep Wim at his side. Theo knows it's a foolish wish, but a part of him stubbornly clings to it regardless.

"I don't know where he is now," Theo says, realizing that he's let the silence stretch on for too long, "But something like that won't change the fact that he's still someone precious to me. Even if we're apart now, I don't want to let him go."

"That's the love of a brother, isn't it?" Sei's facing him now, his hands tucked behind his back.

Theo feels his cheeks flush at the question. "I can't speak for anyone's experiences but my own. But, at the very least, it's how I feel towards my own brother."

"Mhm, that's true," Sei nods.

He steps towards Theo, extending both hands out to him, palms up. Theo blinks, looking down at the gesture then back up to Sei's face before he remembers the clothes in his hands in a flustered flurry of motion. "Oh--they're--ah--here," he stammers, pushing the pajamas into Sei's hands, ducking his head to hide his own embarrassment.

"The shower's just down the hall. I--I'll start something for dinner."

"Thank you, Theo," Sei's voice is quiet, a barely heard sound on the air as Theo moves past him and into the apartment's small kitchen.

"Don't mention it," he mutters, too quietly for Sei to hear.

-

Twenty minutes later, Theo feels that he's mostly recovered from the shock of his own embarrassment. The sound of the shower stopped not too long ago, Sei must just be getting dressed now. It's really worked out well, as far as timing is concerned, since the timer for the pasta is minutes away from finishing up, the sauce already keeping warm on the stovetop.

He looks up to the hallway, wondering at if Sei's had a chance to recover from his own shock as well. He knows it seems wrong for him to speak for Sei's experience in that way. He can't tell for certain what Sei was feeling when he found him in the bakery earlier that night, but even without words he can tell that the incident is something that's left Sei shaken. His demeanor is too different, his voice and gestures once again the quiet and reserved sort that Theo had become accustomed to when he first met the other man.

Whatever had happened back there, whatever had transpired between that man, Trip, and Sei himself, it was those sort of incidents that had fed Sei's worry, his distance and apathy towards the life he lived. The thought of it makes Theo's stomach turn. He swallows, pushing the feeling down. Of course he doesn't want to speculate, of course there's no point to letting himself get upset when there's still uncertainty in the air surrounding Sei and himself, but even still, he doesn't like it. He wants to find a way to bring back the Sei he'd come to know, to soothe the fears and worries that Sei had finally disclosed to him.

He jumps when the timer beeps. His thoughts scatter from his head in a flurry as he quickly moves to drain the pasta, chilling the noodles before moving them into the pot with the sauce to toss the two together. He's so caught up in the efforts of putting things together that he doesn't hear the bathroom door open, doesn't hear the footfalls against the carpet in the hallway, doesn't even notice Sei's presence until a strand of damp hair brushes against his cheek, Sei's voice quietly brushing against his ear.

"It looks delicious."

Theo jumps again, nearly dropping the wooden spoon in his hand.

"Sei--!"

Sei leans away, his head tilted slightly. He's wearing Theo's pajamas now. The shirt, at least, seems to fit properly, the cuffs only falling a few centimeters away from his wrists. The pants are a bit more of an issue, their hems only barely brushing the bottom of Sei's shins. Either way, they'll have to make do for now. Sei wears them well, along with the light flush to his cheeks from the heat of the shower and the way his damp hair sticks to his cheeks in dark streaks.

Theo blinks. He's staring, he realizes. A flush rises to his cheeks, but he doesn't look away. It's hard to place just what looks so appealing about Sei in this way. He doesn't quite have time to place it, though, with his pulse hammering against his ears, his voice caught in his throat. He swallows hard, pushing his limbs to move again, his arms to loose their tension so he can return his attention to the pot on the stove.

"It's almost done," he pushes the words out, trying to ignore how strange they sound to his own ears. "Ah--if you could get out the bowls--in the cabinet to the right?"

"All right."

They eat at the stools set up at the island that divides the kitchen and living room. Save for a few remarks on how good the food is followed by Theo's chagrined reminder that it's nothing more than packaged sauce and noodles, Sei is as quiet as he's been for the rest of the evening. Theo doesn't comment, nor does he try to draw Sei in to any sort of unwanted conversation. If Sei wants to speak, he will. At least, Theo wishes to believe that much.

He catches himself stealing glances at Sei throughout the meal regardless. They're only snatches, out of the corner of his eye, through slight turns of his head that he hopes Sei won't notice, but he can't help his concern, as much as he chides himself for it. Still, there is something different in the line of Sei's shoulders, the calm, contemplative expression on his face. He doesn't seem to be hurt, Theo thinks, nor does he seem uncomfortable. Rather, it seems like there's something on his mind, something that's occupying his thoughts nearly to the point of distraction.

He's seen that sort of expression on Sei before. He remembers it from their time at the park, before Sei first opened up to Theo. It's reassuring, in a strange way. Somehow, it feels like whatever is on Sei's mind, he'll share it when he's ready for it.

Theo takes their plates when they're done eating, running them under the sink before setting them with the rest of the dirty dishes in the dishwasher. Sei watches him the whole time from where he sits, his elbows resting against the countertop, fingers laced loosely together. Though Theo can feel the weight of Sei's gaze on him, he doesn't comment on it, doesn't even lift his gaze to met Sei's until the dishes have been put in their place. Finished with his chore, he pauses a moment, drying his hands with the kitchen towel before he finds the courage to lift his eyes to meet Sei's.

Sei's expression doesn't change as he does. Now that Theo has the chance to look at him properly, he can see that there isn't really anything scrutinizing or harsh in Sei's gaze. More than any of those things, his eyes seem soft, subdued. Theo finds himself drawn into them, into the settling silence of the apartment around them. For once, there's no steady white noise of the rushing water from the bathroom shower, no clank of silverware against plates, no burst of sound from the sink or the stove or anywhere else. Even the washing machine seems to have finished the rumbling cycle that Sei started earlier, leaving Theo and Sei with nothing more than the sound of their breaths and the steadily growing sound of Theo's pulse in his own ears.

He doesn't know why he's flushed, but he can feel his cheeks burn with it. Perhaps it's because there's something so familiar, so comfortingly domestic about this moment. This night was supposed to be their first date, but instead he's brought Sei into his home, shared his clothes, made dinner for him. When he thinks about it that way it feels overwhelmingly mundane and simple. There's really no significance to those things that's any more than what they've already shared, but it still warms him nonetheless. It gives the moment a precious quality that he wants to hold and embrace forever.

Surprisingly, it's Sei who breaks the silence.

He turns his gaze down, snapping Theo from his reverie, his dark eyes looking to where his hands rest against the countertop.

"Thank you for dinner, Theo," he says, his thumb brushing across the length of his index finger.

"Ah--it's--it was nothing." Theo sets the towel down, swallowing against the tight, warm feeling in his chest. "It seems like the laundry's done, I'll go move your things to the dryer."

"All right," Sei agrees with a short nod, which is all that Theo can see before he flees into the hallway.

It isn't very much of an escape. After all, there's only three pieces of clothing in the wash, bundled up and wet as they are, Theo can throw them into the dryer all in one motion. Still he braces himself against dryer for a moment, hand pressed to the door after he's pushed it shut, taking a deep breath to calm himself.

Really, he's behaving immaturely, he tells himself. As much as it might mean to him to share this moment with Sei, Sei's well being should be his priority. It's for Sei's comfort that he's doing this now.

Resolved, he turns to make his way back to the living room.

"The dryer shouldn't take more than an hour or so," he says as he makes his way back, "If you'd like, after that I can see you home...?"

Sei's moved to the couch in the time that Theo spent in the hallway. He's curled up, almost like a child, with his knees drawn to his chest, which only pulls the already short pajama pants higher against his legs. He looks up when Theo enters, head tilting to the side in thought.

"Won't it be rather late by that time?"

Theo hesitates a moment before he approaches, moving to sit at the far end of the couch from Sei, enough to leave ample space between them. "It may be, but I'd still be happy to take you there."

Sei watches him move, his eyes seeming to track the distance between them on the couch before he finally looks back to Theo properly. "You don't know where I live."

"That's true, but you could show me the way?"

Sei shakes his head, dropping his hands from his knees at last, letting his legs stretch out over the edge of the couch. He looks down at where his hands rest against his thighs, lips pulled into a faint smile. "That's not what I meant. It's not a short trip from here."

"Ah...I see," Theo says, not quite understanding what Sei means by that. "Still, I'd be more than happy to take you there--"

"Theo," Sei interrupts him, his voice quiet and firm. His eyes are on Theo's again, catching him in a gaze that is every bit as intent as his words. "Can I ask something of you?"

"Of course," Theo answers automatically, "What is it?"

"Let me stay here."

The words push the breath from Theo's lungs. He's left with his mouth hanging open, his mind racing to catch up to the reality of what Sei's just said.

"You mean--" he stutters, his lips working at least two seconds behind his already jumbled thoughts. "You'd like to--"

"Just for the night," Sei says. He doesn't look away from Theo, his expression unchanged and serious. "It might be selfish of me to ask, after what you've done for me already, but I'd like to stay, if I could."

"Of course," the words tumble from Theo's lips again. A moment later he feels his cheeks heat as he remembers to blush. He ducks his head, embarrassed. "Ah--that doesn't mean I think it's selfish of you--or rather, I don't mind if it is. Honestly, I'd..."

Theo trails off, looking back up to Sei again, actually taking him in as he does. His fingers are curled on the fabric of Theo's borrowed pajamas, his shoulders tensed, lips pressed into a thin line against his face. His eyes haven't wavered, but Theo knows well enough what he sees in Sei now. He's seen the same expression day after day in the picture that rests on his shelf, in his brother's face, in his brother's bright eyes.

There's fear in Sei's eyes. But it isn't something as simple as just fear. It's a fear of rejection, a worry that some flaw, some imperfection would mean being denied the comfort and support that's been a constant until this moment.

A weight settles at the pit of Theo's stomach, a burning at the back of his throat. He swallows it away and pushes himself up off the couch, moving closer. He moves slowly, with deliberate caution, settling his hand against Sei's shoulder, his eyes never leaving Sei's gaze.

"Sei," he says, his voice quieter than before. Somehow, he tries to push all the worry he feels into the sound of the words. He tries to let them convey just how much he wants to be there for Sei, on Sei's terms, and nothing more. "I'd be happy to have you here. You can stay for as long as you'd like."

Sei nods, slowly. His gaze drops, trailing down to Theo's hand at his shoulder. Self-consciously, Theo almost thinks to pull it away, perhaps he's overstepped his bounds, but a moment later Sei's body shifts under his touch, his hand reaching up to curl around Theo's. He moves, pressing his shoulder into the pillow at his back so he faces Theo properly. His hand against Theo's is warm. Calloused fingers slide between Theo's in a loose grip. Sei's thumb brushes a gentle circle against the back of Theo's hand.

Somewhere along the line, Theo realizes he's stopped breathing. He sucks in a quiet gasp, before his head snaps up to look at Sei with an expression of wide-eyed horror. He didn't mean to make that sort of an embarrassing sound.

Yet the "I'm sorry," that his mind frantically tries to piece together dies on his lips when he sees Sei's face.

Sei's watching him from under dark eyelashes. A small, private sort of smile plays against his lips as his fingers move against Theo's.

"It's been an interesting date, hasn't it?"

If Theo hadn't been watching Sei's lips so intently, he might have missed the question.

"It has?" he asks.

"Mhm," Sei nods. He moves again, pulling himself closer by his hold on Theo's hand, his knee bumping against the side of Theo's leg. "It was just spaghetti for dinner. We went straight from my work to your apartment. I don't think I've had many first dates like that."

"Ah...I can't say that I've had many either," Theo admits, his cheeks burning.

"Have you had many dates, Theo?"

"I can't say that I have," Theo says. He smiles, a little self-conscious at the admission.

"I thought so." Sei smiles. Even though it's a faint echo of a playful sort of smile that Theo's seen before, it warms him to see it again, to see Sei so relaxed.

"I'm sorry if I've disappointed you," he says gently. "I never could seem to find a good time to mention it."

"I don't mind," Sei says. "I wasn't disappointed."

"You weren't?"

"No," Sei shakes his head, "I enjoyed it."

Theo can feel the flush darken against his cheeks, but for now he doesn't mind it. "I'm glad."

Sei smiles at him, briefly, before pausing a moment, his lips pursed as his gaze drops in thought. "Although I think that there's one thing that could make it better."

"What is it?" Theo asks, his voice quiet in comparison to the pounding of his heart in his ears. He's suddenly all too aware of how much closer Sei's moved to him. Their joined hands are the only thing that rest between their legs.

When Sei looks back up, Theo can see the pink tip of his tongue as it darts out, brushing quickly over his lips.

"How many dates have you been on, Theo?"

"I...haven't been on any," he admits, captivated.

"But you know what happens at the end of a date, don't you?"

"I think that I have some idea."

"Is it all right?" Sei asks, his voice is lower now, his eyes half lidded as they meet Theo's gaze.

It takes Theo a moment before he realizes what's happening. This isn't a game, it's not the same sort of coy teasing that's been in Sei's voice up until now. He's asking Theo's permission. He's asking if this is what Theo wants.

Theo swallows. He nods. He can't find words. He can't even conceive of a thought that isn't complete wonder at how beautiful Sei looks like this and an aching sort of burn deep in his chest at how much he wants to treasure this moment. He wants Sei to know that it's all right. Wants to show Sei how willing he is to accept whatever Sei might offer.

Silently, he reaches up, cupping Sei's cheek in one hand. Sei's eyes flick to the side for a moment, following the motion, before he draws his hand up, pressing it over Theo's, holding his hand in place.

As Theo leans in, carefully, the faint heat of Sei's breath tickling against his lips, he finds his words again.

"It's all right."

 


	12. Chapter 12

The morning light slowly filters in through the windows of Theo's bedroom, painting the walls in pale, hazy purples and blues that slowly give way to richer yellows and golds. Theo usually rises early, so even on the weekends he finds himself stirring quietly with the rising of the sun, yet something about this morning is different.

There's a soft, warm pressure against the line of his body, something against his pillow that tickles at his nose. He snorts softly to try to dislodge it, only to be met with an unfamiliar, sweet scent.

Frowning, Theo slowly opens his eyes to the golden hue of the room and is surprised when he sees a streak of black against his pillow. He puzzles over it, only for a moment, before his senses return to him and the awareness of his situation dawns on him.

The hair tickling his nose is paired with a steady, warm breath against the hollow of his throat. That as well gives way to the pressure of a chest against his, arms wound loosely around his waist, legs tangled with his. He swallows, feeling his throat bob against the lips and nose pressed in there, at that moment entirely awake as his heart leaps to action, throbbing loudly against his ears.

As it does, the night before comes abruptly crashing back to his mind.

He'd kissed Sei.

The thought of it still makes him feel lightheaded. He can feel himself smiling even despite his growing embarrassment at his current position.

Their first kiss had been something soft and careful, shared on Theo's couch where they were pressed side to side. Theo's lips tingled as he remembered how soft Sei's had been, how easily they'd slid against his, the soft tickle of Sei's breath as he'd softly exhaled when they pulled away.

Looking back on it from the haze of the morning, Theo can still remember how charged the moment had felt. He can still feel the echoes of the giddy energy that had bubbled up in his chest when Sei had smiled afterwards, the two of them laughing together.

They'd kissed again. Then again. Theo had completely lost track of how many kisses they'd shared. Curled together intimately on his couch, they'd spoken together in hushed words, Sei's lightly teasing and Theo's breathless with wonder and exhilaration. They'd kissed between their words, between breaths, until Theo found his arms wound around Sei's waist, holding him close, protectively. Neither of them realized how late it had gotten until Theo had abruptly broken one of their kisses with a wide yawn, which left him hopelessly red as Sei held his laughter back behind tightly pursed lips.

It had only made sense that they would share the bed. Theo didn't want to let Sei have the couch, and Sei insisted that he wouldn't displace Theo.

So Theo finds himself waking with Sei in his arms, staring down at how the light of the dawn plays against Sei's pale skin and the sharp lines of contrast drawn by the dark of his hair. Sei's lips are no longer kiss-swollen as they were the night before, but even just seeing them now, slightly parted as the steady, even breaths of Sei's sleep press past them, Theo can find himself drawn to them.

He moves one hand up from where it rests at Sei's back, tracing his fingertips against the line of Sei's face. His touch moves from Sei's temple, across the soft skin of his cheek, and along his jaw. Sei stirs with the touch, his lips closing. His nostrils flare with a drawn breath, dark lashes fluttering in the warm light. Theo drops his hand. Sei's eyes open, offering him an apologetic smile.

"Good morning," he says, his voice a whisper. "I'm sorry--I couldn't help myself."

Sei stares up at him, blinking slowly, before Theo can see the recognition of their current position and the memory of the night before dawn upon Sei as well. His expression relaxes into a quiet smile. He shifts against Theo, moving one hand to find Theo's, calloused fingertips tracing against the length of Theo's palm.

"Good morning," he replies, his voice just as feather soft. "I think I can forgive you that much."

"Thank you," Theo says in earnest. He curls his hand against Sei's, lacing their fingers together. He thinks he can feel his heart leap into his throat when he sees the way that Sei's smile deepens with just that simple gesture. "Did you sleep well?"

"I did," Sei nods. For the moment he seems transfixed by their joined hands, watching them instead of Theo, flexing his fingers within Theo's hold, his thumb brushing across the back of Theo's hand. He settles with a final squeeze, looking back up to Theo with a lazy, contented smile. "Did you sleep well?"

"I did." Theo smiles a little at the repetition.

"Then, that's very well and good," Sei says.

"It is," Theo says.

He makes no move to leave. He's pleased that Sei doesn't either. A small part of his mind wonders at how ridiculous they must look, their bodies curled together in the light of the morning doing nothing more than simply gazing into one another's eyes. He feels his cheeks flush when he realizes it, but he doesn't look away. Regardless of what that part of him feels or thinks, there's still a greater part of him that wishes nothing more than to capture the simple, soft happiness of this moment and hold to it for as long as he can.

He wishes that he could see the peaceful expression of Sei's sleeping face with every rising sun, wishes that he could begin every morning with the warmth of the other man pressed against him.

He can't say at this moment whether or not Sei wishes the same, and he won't even dare to presume as much, but even if the desire is perhaps something too farfetched to cling to at this moment, he can still let it hold in his heart and warm it for now.

It's Sei who breaks the silence first, who draws them away from the eternity of that moment and into the day itself.

"I'll make us breakfast," he says.

"Ah--you don't have to, I mean, I'd be more than happy to--" Theo starts, moving to follow Sei as he pushes himself up from the bed, bracing his body with one arm, their hands still knit together.

Sei, however, has other plans in mind. He silences Theo with a kiss, soft and lingering. Theo finds his breath stolen from him, his eyes fluttering shut with the sweet warmth of Sei's lips against his. When Sei pulls away, he blinks his eyes open again to see a smile playing across Sei's lips.

"Let me make you breakfast?" Sei asks, emphasizing the question with a light squeeze to Theo's hand.

Theo swallows, then his voice returns. "Yes--of course."

"Thank you."

Sei releases Theo's hand at last, pushing the covers back as he crawls from the bed. He's still wearing Theo's pajamas from the night before, which only makes Theo reflect again upon how strange and familiar this must seem. His heart races at the thought, his breath catching in his throat. Regardless of how it might seem, only time will tell what will truly become familiar.

Ignoring the heat tinging his cheeks, he sets about tidying up the bed, gathering himself for the moment, before he steps back out into the living room.

Sei is already at work in the kitchen, methodically pursuing Theo's cabinets for ingredients and supplies, pulling down what he needs while humming a tuneless melody under his breath. Theo watches him as he gathers up bread, eggs, milk and cheese before he thinks to speak.

"Do you need help finding anything?"

"No," Sei shakes his head, looking over to Theo as an afterthought with a smile. "I'll be all right."

"If you say so," Theo replies. He pauses there a moment, worrying over his lower lip. The kitchen isn't large enough to accommodate two people, and as much as he wants to watch Sei at work, even if Sei doesn't think it strange, he's not sure if he'd be able to contain his own strange thoughts.

"Then--" he says abruptly, coming to his conclusion. "I'll go shower, for now."

"Go on." This time Sei doesn't look up, absentmindedly cracking eggs into a bowl as a pan heats on Theo's stove. "I'll have it ready when you're out."

"Yes, I won't be long."

Unconsciously, perhaps, Theo adjusts the water in the shower to something a bit colder than what he's used to. It's just to fight the flush on his cheeks, he tells himself once he notices the difference in temperature. Although a more practical part of his mind tells him that isn't it entirely. He won't lie to himself and say that his interests in Sei are purely platonic. As his thoughts wander again to the way that Sei felt in his arms that morning, the way that Sei's kisses were warm and easy against his lips, he feels the heat building not only in his chest and face but lower as well.

Theo isn't completely ignorant of how matters work between two men. The health orientations during his first year at university were clinical, at best, but they certainly provided an understanding of basic coupling.

He hadn't thought much of it at the time. To be honest, he hadn't given much thought to being with a woman either. The strict atmosphere at home, the seemingly unending pressure that his father placed on him and his success left Theo with little time to ponder romance of any sort. What he had found with Sei was something unique, something unexpected and brilliant.

Perhaps that's why it seemed to light a fire in him more fiercely than anything he'd felt before. It's nothing he can contain, he tells himself, adjusting the shower knob to turn the water just slightly cooler. As much as he finds himself desiring Sei in other ways, he knows that Sei's comfort and Sei's consent is what's most important.

He emerges from the shower only a little while later to the smell of eggs, toast, and sausage on the air. With a towel draped over his head, he pauses for a moment, inhaling deeply and savoring the aroma. Save for the days when he picks up orders from Sei's bakery, breakfast usually means little more than a bowl of cereal or a piece of bread with a quick slather of jam or butter--something grabbed in a rush out the door on his way to the office. Theo can't recall the last time that he treated himself to a home-cooked meal.

Just as he approaches the kitchen, he sees Sei stepping into the hall, drying his hands on one of the kitchen towels.

"Oh, you're out," Sei says, seemingly caught by surprise, but it smooths over quickly in a warm smile. "Perfect timing."

"It smells lovely," Theo says, lowering the towel to rest over his shoulders. "I had no idea you were an accomplished cook as well."

"I wouldn't call it accomplished," Sei says. "I know enough to get by."

"Even still, I'm looking forward to it."

"Well," the smile on Sei's lips curves ever so slightly wider. "I hope I won't disappoint."

Sei's hopes, in Theo's opinion, are hardly in vain. After the first few remarks from Theo about how fluffy the eggs are, how perfectly juicy the sausage is, Sei's eventually forced to jab a fork laden with sausage in Theo's direction.

"That's enough for now," he says, fixing Theo with a stern glance that's betrayed by his smile. "Hurry up and finish eating."

"Of course," Theo replies, only somewhat chagrined.

He offers to clean up the dishes once they're both finished, giving Sei a chance to change back into his clothes from the night before.

"Whenever you're ready, I'd be more than happy to take you home," he offers.

Sei nods to the suggestion, somewhat absentminded. "I should be going, shouldn't I?" he says, leaning over the countertop to watch Theo at work in the sink.

"Ah, well. You can leave when you'd like to," Theo explains, rinsing plates and pans before setting them in the dishwasher. "I'd only thought that I'd offer to take you there, if you'd like it."

"Mhm." Sei nods once before he pushes himself off the stool. "I'll think on it."

The answer gives Theo pause, his eyes following Sei as he moves down the hallway before vanishing into the bedroom at the end. It's true that there's a part of him that doesn't want for Sei to leave so soon. Even though they've had an entire night together now, that part selfishly wishes that there were no reason for Sei to leave at all. The more practical part of him remembers that Sei's job doesn't follow the same hours as his, that Sei may be missing the comforts of his own home. Yet even still, it's difficult for both parts of him to deny that there was something more beneath Sei's expression at the thought of leaving. It seemed like something almost reluctant.

Shaking the thought from his head, Theo sets the last of his dishes into the dishwasher, closing the door behind it. It's been a rather singularly different morning, in many ways. Surely Sei feels it as well. His hesitation might only be his way of coping with what's happened.

After drying his hands on a towel, Theo turns to check on Sei's progress only to find Sei himself standing in the hallway, his shoulder leaning gently against the wall, eyes fixed on Theo.

Theo flounders for a moment, his mouth working open and shut before he remembers to put words out of it. "--You're ready."

Sei smiles at him and nods. "I am. Was that too fast?"

"Oh--no," Theo sighs, putting a hand to his forehead to hide his flush. "Honestly, I was just about to come and check on you."

"That's very kind of you." Sei pushes off the wall with a smooth motion. His arms are crossed low over his stomach, the black fabric of his folded apron resting over them. As he moves to Theo's side, he pulls one hand out from under it, reaching out to tug lightly at the edge of Theo's sleeve.

"Are you ready to go?" he asks, his head tilted toward Theo with the question.

"--Yes," Theo replies, maybe a moment too late, but he covers it with a smile. Reaching up, he curls his hand around Sei's holding it properly with a light squeeze. Sei smiles.

"Then, let's go."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the somewhat odd ending point for this one. When I first wrote this chapter it wound up being about three times as long as it is now so I cut it up.
> 
> But since I only chopped it in half the next chapter's gonna be twice as long as this one. Please look forward to it~


	13. Chapter 13

The tram ride to Sei's apartment isn't excessively long, but it does take the better part of a half hour. Since it's a Saturday morning, it isn't crowded so Theo and Sei sit together, side by side, the warm line of their legs pressed together, clasped hands resting on their thighs.

Unlike the night before, Sei strikes up an easy conversation, asking Theo about what sort of foods he likes, what sort of restaurants he frequents, that sort of thing. Theo's more than happy to answer, the two of them moving from talk of scrambled eggs to currywurst and pasta, until Sei's attention is caught by the scenery slipping past the windows of their car.

He squeezes at Theo's hand, nodding towards the door. "It's the next stop."

They disembark, Sei leading Theo on by their joined hands. Theo tries to dive back into their earlier conversation, only to find Sei's answers growing more and more distracted.

Theo tries to press the worried feeling in his chest away, focusing instead on the apartments and houses that line the boulevard they walk down.

They've left the city proper a little ways behind now. Each step leads them further and further into an affluent residential district. Of course, the houses here are hardly anything remarkable compared to the sort of place that Theo was raised in, but he recognizes the trappings. Here is the new money of the city, those who wish to stay close to the hustle and bustle of it all, the vibrant nightlife and booming business. These are the houses of those with no established legacy, but with plenty of growing fortune to wave about.

Theo is suddenly painfully aware of just how little Sei has told him of his past.

Somehow, it had never occurred to him that a man working in a bakery, taking his wages from the work of his own hands, could possibly have the same sort of history as Theo himself. That Sei's parents might be wealthy as well isn't a thought that even entered his mind. He feels ashamed for it, despite himself. He's only had Sei's word to go by, but still he's made his own assumptions. Even if it doesn't matter, even if Sei is who he is regardless of what sort of circumstances he was raised in, Theo chides himself for thinking Sei beneath him in any way.

His litany of self-censure is cut short rather abruptly as Sei tugs at his hand, turning both of them down the paved walkway of a well-appointed, modern looking building. It's an apartment complex, or condos, Theo can't quite tell which, but the value of the place shows through in the sleek lines and smooth surfaces of the architecture. It lacks the classical appeal of Theo's own family home, certainly, but it undoubtedly speaks of wealth and prestige in its own way.

Without speaking, Sei pulls a small keyfob from his pocket, pressing it to the panel outside the door to grant them entry with a cheerful beep and a whir of doors. The lobby inside is every bit as Theo imagined it would be. Smooth white surfaces dominate the space, a concierge desk is placed against one wall, lit by glowing LED lights in a pale blue. The woman behind it is dressed professionally, looking up from her work and greeting Sei with a smile as he enters.

"Welcome back, Sei," she says. The tenor of her voice is crisp, professional, but still welcoming without seeming too emotional. It matches the decor perfectly, Theo thinks.

Sei returns her greeting with a smile and a slight nod. "I'm back," he replies before brushing past the desk, still leading Theo along by their joined hands.

The building isn't very large, only a few stories tall, so the lobby space isn't much to speak of. It turns rather abruptly to a small hallway that leads to the lobby of the building's two elevators. Sei pushes the call button, which lights a pale blue before fading as the elevator doors open. Once inside, he presses his keyfob to the panel once more, waiting for the soft chime before he selects the top floor and the doors slide shut.

The elevator stirs into motion, quietly drawing them up.

Theo chews at his lower lip, his hand shifting slightly in Sei's. He feels nervous at the silence that's stretched on between them. Though he hadn't meant to draw attention to it, Sei notices the motion. He looks up from where his eyes had fixed on the floor of the elevator, glancing at their joined hands before his eyes reach Theo himself. His head tilts slightly towards him in a silent question.

Theo releases his lip with a rueful smile on his face. "I'm sorry," he says. "Ah--it's just--it's a very impressive place, isn't it?"

Sei nods, absent minded even in the simple gesture. He looks away from Theo, staring at the doors of the elevator, watching them without truly seeing them.

"It's called Platinum Jail," he says.

"Platinum Jail..." Theo repeats the words, though Sei doesn't respond. After a beat, he presses on, "It doesn't seem a very welcoming sort of name."

"Maybe not," Sei says. Theo can see the faintest hint of a smile tugging at the corners of Sei's lips, but only for a moment. "I think that the thought behind it was...to provide only the most exquisite and expensive trappings. Something like that."

"Oh--I see," is all that Theo can think to say before the elevator chimes once more, the white doors swinging open before them.

The hallway they step into is every bit as pristine and white as the lobby and the elevator itself. The walls and floors are polished to present a nearly reflective surface, both of them leading straight away from the elevator to where a set of red double doors lies set into the opposite wall.

So not only a luxury building, but the penthouse, no less, Theo thinks to himself. Questions burn at the back of his mind, accommodations are nearly impossible afford on a baker's salary, aren't they? What's more, even if the building is small, a penthouse unit occupying an entire floor would afford quite a lot of space for a single person, wouldn't it? Did Sei live alone? Had he been left this place by someone in his family? What sort of family did he have, if this was the extent of their wealth?

Yet despite the tumult of his mind, not a single word slips from his lips as his and Sei's footfalls quietly echo against the floor until they stand before the red doors. Sei holds the keyfob up once more, waiting for the responding beep and click before he turns the knob and pushes the doors open.

What lies beyond is nearly a perfect match to the images that Theo's imagination has conjured.

A wide, spacious room opens beyond a short hallway to a wall lined with floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the city. The decorations are sparse and modern, all clean edges and sharp corners, but done up in a palette of white, black, and midnight blue. The lighting fixtures above are hanging square lanterns that, judging by their covers, would impart a diffused blue glow to the room when night fell. It is, simply put, impressive, even for Theo's cultured taste.

He can't help but stare for a moment, startled out of his awe only when he feels the tug from Sei's hand on his. Turning quickly, he meets Sei's eyes only for a moment before Sei turns away, pulling on his hand again to guide him around a corner and to another doorway set into the wall.

"Here," he says. "This is my room."

The room occupies a full corner of the building, the walls are windows instead, lined with pale green curtains above which the glass slants inward, drawing up to a point at the opposite corner of the room, leaving the entire ceiling a spiderweb of lines against the transparent window glass. Against the far glass wall is an assortment of what seems like children's toys, stuffed animals, picture books and the like, while opposite it rests a wide bed with a tall, curtained headboard.

Theo frowns slightly, taking the room in. It's an exquisite space, particularly with the view he images it might give of the nighttime sky, but the decor itself is rather...

Abruptly, Sei's hand drops from his. Theo turns to find Sei slowly making his way to the bed, sitting heavily on its edge, his shoulders drawn up and his eyes turned down to the floor. Despite the energy he'd seen in Sei that morning, there's something about the motion that seems weary.

He moves to follow Sei, sitting next to him, closer than he did the night before, his hand gently settling over Sei's on the bed. Sei looks up to him as he does, dark eyes wide and his expression fixedly blank for a moment before a small, shallow smile curves over his lips, his hand turning to curl his fingers over Theo's.

"What do you think?" he asks.

"I have to say, it isn't what I'd expected," Theo says after a moment, looking up to the bright blue sky captured above them by the lines drawn on the edges of the ceiling windows.

Sei's gaze doesn't follow his, though Theo does feel the slight squeeze of Sei's fingers against his hand.

"What were you expecting?"

"Honestly...I'm not sure," Theo muses. He looks down in thought, not yet turning to face Sei again. "If you'd asked me to imagine what sort of place you lived in before you brought me here I can't really say what my answer would have been. Perhaps somewhere quiet, somewhere small, the sort of space you imagine when you think of someone living on their own, like that."

"That doesn't paint a very clear picture," Sei says, a curious hum curling under his voice.

"It doesn't, does it?" Theo half turns, smiling ruefully. "But I think that I wasn't imagining anything so...spacious."

"So expensive," Sei supplies, answering Theo's smile with a faint one of his own.

"That as well."

"Mhm," Sei nods once. The exchange seems to put him a little at ease. He stretches his legs out over the floor, one after the other, slowly kicking out into the air. "My father owned this place. It became mine when he passed."

"I'm sorry for your loss," Theo says, an automatic response. Any other words are silenced by the strange quality of the look that Sei gives him.

"Don't be sorry," Sei says, his smile wider than Theo would expect from someone who's lost a family member. "It was a while ago now."

Part of Theo protests that even the passage of time shouldn't dull an ache like that so easily. He knows full well the slight pang that he feels whenever he thinks of his grandparents, even though the time he shared with them was brief. Still, he nods, trying not not let his confusion show.

"Ah...I see."

"I think my father was the sort of man that your father would understand," Sei goes on. "But he was different in his own way. It wasn't only that he wanted to see me succeed, that he wanted to see my life accomplished, but rather...he saw it as a test of himself. Nothing that I did was my own. Nothing I achieved was simply mine. It was proof of how he'd raised me, how he'd trained me. He'd say I was 'his greatest success.'"

Sei pauses a moment, glancing to Theo as if he's looking for confirmation, for assurance to continue talking. Theo only nods, his hand warm against Sei's, urging him on.

A slow breath slips from Sei's lips. He flexes his fingers against Theo's.

"I had a brother as well," he says. "A twin. Younger than me by a minute."

"Is he...?" Theo begins, losing the heart in his words quickly. It's a cruel question to ask, though he can't take it back now that he's started.

Sei catches the meaning behind Theo's words, offering him a faint smile before shaking his head.

"No--at least, I don't think so."

"Ah--what do you mean?"

Sei turns away from Theo, the motion of his body stilling as his shoulders curl forward, dark hair falling against his cheeks to shield his face. "I haven't seen him. I don't know where he is now, what he must be doing. We're alike in that way as well, aren't we?"

Theo's chest twists uncomfortably, his breath tight in his throat as he remembers the way that Sei had looked upon the picture of his family the night before. Though the path they cut through Sei's living room only moments before was brief, Theo can't recall seeing pictures of any sort, nothing for Sei to remember his own family by.

He swallows against the burning feeling, squeezing against Sei's hand a little more firmly.

"It seems so, unfortunately."

That much at least seems to relax the line of Sei's shoulders. His hand turns in Theo's, twisting and curling to lace their fingers together loosely.

"Unfortunately," he repeats. A pause stretches before he speaks again, "At the very least, I don't think he's alone."

"Your brother?"

Sei nods. "He left when my mother went with him. It happened when I was very young, I don't remember much of it at all. My father always said that my mother didn't understand him. She didn't want to see me grow into a success the same way that he did. I can't say whether he was right or wrong. I can't speak for a mother that I never knew, but...if it was her choice to leave, and to leave me here as well, I'm certain that she had her own reasons."

"Do you want to see her?" Theo asks, cautious and quiet. "Or--your brother as well?"

Sei turns back to him. "I don't know," he says, with a weary weight to his voice. "No--" he turns away again, drawing one leg up, his free arm curling around it as he hugs it to his chest. "--I think that I want to, maybe. But I don't know what I would be to them anymore."

"What do you mean?"

Sei's cheek is pressed against his knee now, his eyes unfocused as he gazes out at the room around him, taking in his lavish surroundings without seeming to see a single detail of it.

"She may be my mother, he might be my brother, by blood, a least. But we've already spent so much time apart, what is there that truly connects us? We'd be strangers."

Theo can certainly understand that sort of thought. With the gap that divides him and his own brother, he's wondered before whether or not his brother would truly recognize or remember him if they were to meet again. He can't know for certain if the divide between Sei and his brother is larger than his own, but if he holds that same sort of apprehension and worry the length can't matter than much. He glances down, letting the silence fill the room for a moment as his eyes trace the lines of Sei's fingers against his, of their hands knit together, of the connection that they share.

"Even still," he says, the words abruptly pushing forward, "Even if you might be strangers, at first, strangers can still come to be more, can't they?"

Sei turns, looking to him with a curious expression. Theo offers him a smile, letting his fingers squeeze against Sei's hand for a moment. He can see the slow shift of Sei's expression, the corner of his eyes curving into a warmer gaze, the line of his lips softening as he squeezes Theo's hand in return, his thumb brushing across the back of it.

"That might be true."

"So--I think that, if you want to find them, if you want to see them again, you shouldn't worry about what they might think of you. It could be that they're somewhere out there, holding the same worries, afraid to step forward and seek you out for the same reasons."

"Maybe," Sei says quietly. His smile widens for a moment, playful and impish as he tugs against Theo's hand. "What if I went to find them?"

"Ah--what do you mean?"

"I mean, what about you?" Sei asks. He drops his knee back down against the bed, shifting to his side to face Theo properly.

"What about me?" Theo frowns, still not understanding the line of Sei's questioning.

Sei moves forward, just enough to bump his knee against Theo's, pressing closer to him now. "We're dating now, aren't we? Would you miss me?"

Theo feels his cheeks flush. He's not sure what's caused the sudden change in Sei's mood, turning so quickly from the serious tone of their earlier conversation to something flirtatious like this, but he tries to take it in stride.

"Of course I'd miss you," he answers, careful not to avoid Sei's gaze. "But if I held you back from something you wanted--even if--ah," he stammers a moment, finding it harder to make himself say the words, "--even if we're dating, I don't think it would be the right thing to do."

Sei gives a quiet hum in reply. He hasn't stopped shifting slowly closer, even as Theo speaks. His face is close enough that Theo can feel the warmth of his breath, his leg pressed against Theo's in a warm line through the fabric of their clothes. He dark eyes watch Theo intently, with the same careful scrutiny that Theo saw the night before. It's Sei's way of confirming with him, his way of asking permission for whatever sort of thing is on his mind right now.

Theo doesn't know what it is at all. He can feel his pulse slowly racing faster against his skin as Sei's moved closer to him. Even though they shared this same sort of intimacy, this same closeness the night before, it still sends sparks running under his skin, covering his mind in a warm haze. Yet still, he trusts Sei. He knows that if it ever became too much, if he ever wanted to stop, that Sei would respect that.

He nods slightly in answer to Sei's unspoken question. Sei smiles and nods in reply. Yet his lips don't move to press against Theo's as Theo imagined they would. Instead, Sei reaches up, pressing to Theo's chest with his free hand. Confused, Theo moves with his urging regardless, slowly shifting backwards until he's lying against Sei's bed, staring up at the clear blue sky through the windows of Sei's ceiling. A moment later Sei shifts to lie next to him, his shoulder against Theo's chest, the warmth of his breath tickling against Theo's neck and collarbone, his hand unmoved from where it rests over Theo's pounding heart.

For a moment, Theo doesn't want to move, doesn't want to disturb the moment that Sei's created. A different sort of warmth fills him as Sei settles. Rather than the hot and electric fire that sparked in his mind with the anticipation of what Sei might do, he only feels a gradual, slowly spreading ease. It leaves his limbs loose and an aching comfort settling over his chest. He shifts a moment later, releasing Sei's hand to curl his arm around Sei's back, a reassurance. If this is where Sei wants to be, Theo will hold him here.

Sei lets out a slow breath when Theo's arm settles there, hot and even against Theo's skin.

"Thank you," he says.

"It's nothing," Theo replies, matching the quiet, whispered tone of Sei's voice.

"Not just for that," Sei says, shaking his head slightly. His hair tickles against the line of Theo's jaw.

Theo waits for Sei to go on, but when silence meets him instead he makes a soft, questioning sound at the back of his throat. "Sei?"

Sei doesn't reply, not at first. His breathing is still steady and even against Theo's throat, his hand a firm, warm pressure against his chest. Theo can't imagine what sort of expression he might be making, a faint worry bubbling up in his chest at the thought of it, before Sei finally speaks again.

"You met Trip last night."

"Ah, yes. I did." Theo's mind rushes back to the night before, an uneasy pressure settling in his throat. He swallows against it, even though there's no way that Sei won't notice, pressed against Theo as he is now.

Yet even though it's an impossible gesture to miss, Sei makes no comment on it. Instead, Theo only feels the shift of his head as he nods, slightly, lapsing into silence again before he finds his words once more.

"My father hired him a long time ago. To keep an eye on me when I was alone."

Theo frowns at the thought. The man he met last night certainly didn't give off the impression of someone who would work well with children, or who could be trusted with them at all, for that matter.

His voice is still cautious when he speaks, uncertain of how much he should assume from what Sei's said.

"Was he...a babysitter?"

"No, not like that," Sei says. Theo can feel the slight shift of Sei's fingers against his chest, a slow exhale against his throat. "I had other people who helped to raise me. Tutors and nannies, people like that. I was a gifted child, my father would say. He wanted to see me succeed, so he would only pay for the best."

"I see." Theo recalls a similar experience at the hands of his father and mother. Though the word 'gifted' had never quite entered his parents' vernacular, he still had much of his education at the behest of his his father's checkbook, a measure to ensure that he was well-prepared for the world beyond the confines of the education system. Yet still, something didn't quite sit right with Sei's story.

"If you had them, why would you need someone like Trip?"

There's another pause, a light puff of breath on Theo's skin. "They came too close."

"Too close...?"

"Mhm." Sei nods against him. "Even if he wished to see me prosper in the way he envisioned, my father had very little time for me. Though he'd insisted my mother wasn't allowed to have me, he didn't think of raising me as something important. I think--maybe--it seemed like he only wanted to obtain what prestige he could from what I became. But it mattered to him that it was by his hand, that I owed what I had to him."

Sei pauses, a slow inhale and exhale shifting his shoulders up and down.

"That's why if I spoke too highly of them, if I seemed to enjoy their company, the would be gone."

Theo's stomach twists at the thought of it, his hand tightening against Sei's shoulder unconsciously.

"That seems--needlessly cruel," he whispers, surprised at the intensity of his own voice.

He feels Sei shift against him, bracing himself with the hand against Theo's chest to push himself up. When Theo looks down, he meets Sei's gaze, the curious darkness of Sei's eyes.

Sei smiles at him, distantly, and nods.

"It may have been. I didn't come to realize it until I was older, until I had a better sense of the world."

"What happened then?"

Sei drops his gaze once more, his eyes trailing to the bedsheets somewhere off to the side of where Theo rests against them.

"By then, I didn't care," he says. "Every time I could feel my hands closing around something that seemed like happiness, that seemed like love and care, it was snatched away from me. I didn't want things like that anymore. I knew they wouldn't last."

Theo's heart aches. Even the soft pressure of Sei's hand against it somehow feels like a vice now, pressing tight and heavy against it and threatening to burst it right then and there.

"When I was accepted to university, the last one of them left," Sei goes on, his voice unwavering with the quiet momentum of his words. "My father hired Trip instead. As a bodyguard, to keep an eye on me."

The impression of Trip that Theo has clicks into place now. His broad physique, his brusque attitude, the predatory energy that he bore with every movement. He was hardly the sort of man that one would want to broker any sort of argument.

At a loss for words at the moment, Theo only nods, letting Sei's words take their time.

Sei continues only a moment later. "I let Trip follow me. I let him stay at my side, since it was what my father wanted. At first there wasn't anything more to it than that. He seemed bored by it all, but he was a constant in my life. But something about it changed.

"The longer he was with me, the more he seemed to take an interest in me. It wasn't the same as my tutors or nannies. I was a job. Something to make his life easy."

Sei's fingers draw down against Theo's chest lightly, his brows knitting together as his lips purse in a tense frown. "I don't know why he did," he murmurs, his voice quieter still. "He said it was interesting, the way I seemed so empty. He wanted to see if there was something inside after all..."

Theo is silent. His words catch behind the lump in his throat and the building worry of what Sei might say next. He's afraid of what suspicions might be confirmed, but he knows that he can't let that fear rule him. He can't stop Sei now, no matter how much he might not wish to hear what Sei has to say. The fact that Sei's telling him this, that he's speaking of these things at all, that much matters more than anything else.

Sei seems to notice. His eyes track slowly up the line of Theo's throat, following the curve of his jaw, panning over his lips. He's looking at Theo without truly seeing him, his dark eyes focused on a past that's painfully close for all that it seems buried.

"We started sleeping together--no--" Sei stops his words, his lips working as he tries to put them together again properly. "I think it was more--he started sleeping with me. It didn't matter to me. I never tried to stop him, but I think...part of him wanted to see me try."

"That's a terrible thing to do."

Theo's voice sounds foreign to his own ears. It tremors and shakes with the thinly veiled fury of the words. He doesn't think that he's ever felt an emotion as intensely as what he feels in this moment. His heart is hammering, his breath hot against the back of his throat, but it's different from before, different from the sort of heat that Sei drew from him earlier. This time, the heat feels sharper, white hot and blinding. Theo feels an impulse building in his chest, the desire to lash out, to scream and shout and do anything in his power to see that man--to see Trip brought low and punished for what he's done.

Sei startles from the sudden change in his mood. He looks to Theo, his distant gaze coming into focus on the sharp edge of anger that stings at the corner of Theo's eyes.

Theo pushes himself up, the feeling of simply lying still to listen suddenly suffocating in this space. As Sei's hand slowly falls from his chest, he reaches forward to grab it, taking it in a firm yet shaking grasp.

"That isn't the sort of thing that you can do to another person," Theo says, drawing coiled energy from the blood pounding into his veins and pouring every ounce of it into the quiet intensity of his words. "What he did to you--what he's done to you was wrong, Sei."

Sei doesn't look away. He doesn't pull his hand from Theo's grip. Instead, his eyes seem to search Theo's gaze, confirming something that only Sei can see there, before he nods with the slightest motion of his head.

"I know that. Part of me always knew it. It was never what I wanted. He'd make a show of asking me, every time. I knew that I couldn't say 'no,' but I never told him 'yes' either."

"But that doesn't mean--" Theo's words burst from his lips, silenced only as Sei presses two fingers against them, as if to hold them in.

He smiles at Theo, faint and sad. In that moment Theo's rage seems to slip from him, evaporating and cooling like a hot iron plunged into ice water.

"I know, Theo," Sei repeats, softer this time. The words sound almost like an apology to Theo's ears. The emptiness left by his anger quickly fills with a churning sort of regret.

"I'm sorry," he says against Sei's fingers, dropping his gaze for a moment in deference. "I didn't mean to upset you."

"I'm not upset," Sei says. He shakes his head with the words, black hair trailing against his cheeks with the motion. "I knew you'd be angry, that you'd be upset. That's the sort of person that you are. That's why I wanted you to know."

"Sei?" Theo asks cautiously, not quite understanding what Sei means by that.

"When it started, I'd lost so much that I didn't care what happened to me. I didn't care what people thought of me or did to me. My father was growing more demanding, now that I was almost an adult. Trip seemed to want more and more of me. I was trapped between the two of them. I couldn't give either of them what they wanted, and even if I did I knew that it wouldn't stop them from demanding more."

"Then...what happened?" Theo asks, trusting now that this moment isn't as fragile as he imagined, that Sei's silence won't be brought by his words and questions.

Sei tilts his head, considering the question before a thin smile spreads over his lips. "My father had an accident."

"Ah--" Theo stutters. Sei's smile is uncanny, serene and pleased despite the topic of conversation, which lends it a dangerous edge. Theo feels something of the same fear that he felt in the presence of Trip, an energy in the air that can't be evaded. He swallows. He nods. "I see."

"There was no one to pay Trip for his services after that," Sei continues smoothly. His gaze drops away from Theo's and his smile is gone as quickly as it came. "He stayed, at first, to see what would happen to me with my father gone, but then he left, for a while. He comes and goes now, whenever he wants."

The prickling feeling at the back of The's neck slips away slowly. He resists the urge to bring a hand up to rub against it. "And you began working at the bakery?"

"That's right." Sei nods. "There were other people who took an interest in me there as well, in the same way that Trip had. Lukas was one of them. I'd give them what they want, for a while, play along with their games, but in the end they all lost interest, one way or another."

His hand curls slightly in Theo's, fingertips brushing across the back of it. "Lukas was the only one who seemed concerned when he lost interest, but he kept his distance. Trip is the only one who comes back, on his own time."

Theo's cheeks are starting to burn with the candid way that Sei speaks of all his partners. Just how many have there been? "It seems lonely--that way--even with all of them--"

"Maybe it was." Sei pauses. His lips turn in a slight frown. "I think it might have been--but I didn't think that way about it at the time."

"Because of what you told me before?" Theo ventures. When Sei looks up to him with a curious gaze he offers an apologetic smile. "Ah, I mean in the park--when I asked you why you became a baker."

Sei's frown persists for a moment, his eyes narrowed slightly, unfocused, as he turns the thought over in his mind.

"I think so. I looked at the world in a different way back then." His gaze focuses on Theo a moment later, a playful lilt coloring his voice in contrast to the somber tone so far, "Do you remember the pastry that I left you?"

"Of course," Theo replies, not certain if he should feel embarrassment or pride over that admission. "It's part of what's brought to where we are, isn't it?"

"That's right," Sei says, favoring Theo with a fond smile. "But you know, that wasn't why I gave it to you."

"It wasn't--?"

"No," Sei shakes his hand. His fingers squeeze against Theo's hand in a quick pulse. "I thought that you had other things on your mind."

"Other things--"

"The same sort of things that Trip wanted." Sei's smile is coy, gradually growing wider as Theo feels his cheeks heat with an intense flush.

"I--you thought that I--"

Sei nods, nonplussed. "I thought that you were the same as Trip, the same as the rest. I didn't think that anyone would show an interest in me for any reason other than that."

Theo looks down, suddenly very aware of Sei's hand curled around his, of the closeness of their bodies against the sheets of Sei's bed. Of course, by now he's had thoughts like that. It isn't as though he wouldn't be interested in sharing something like that with Sei, but still--

"I--" Theo swallows, his words lost in the dry heat of his throat. "Even if we're in this situation now, I don't want you to think that I, that is, I hadn't intended for--"

Sei's fingers brush under his chin. His thoughts and words scatter as he follows the motion, meeting Sei's gaze across the short distance that divides them.

"I told you, didn't I?" Sei's voice is lower, nearly a whisper now, his words intent and clear as they brush against Theo's lips. "That you're someone different. You're different from the rest of them."

Even as his focus of the room narrows to the contact of Sei's fingertips against his skin, Sei's breath mingling with his own, Theo feels a strange sort of calm wash over him with Sei's words. He licks at his lips unconsciously, letting himself sink into the depths of Sei's eyes, his words hushed as well.

"So that's what you meant by that, isn't it?"

"It is." The corners of Sei's eyes crease with the gentle force of his smile, his lips parting again as he leans in.

"You're proof that there's something better."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Awkwardly working in...the fic title!
> 
> Okay no but seriously only one chapter left. (spoilers, it's porn)


	14. Chapter 14

A few weeks later, Theo finds himself bouncing on the soles of his shoes as he stands waiting in a small florist's shop only a few blocks away from Sei's bakery. He's the last customer of the evening, he knows, and he smiles and offers his apologies to the middle-aged woman working the register. She only smiles in return, waving his concerns off as she wraps the small bouquet he's ordered in paper, ringing him up with a practiced ease.

"You don't seem like the kind of man who's forgotten something important or who needs to apologize," she says to him, amiable. "You've got the look that says these are for someone important, and you want to make sure they know that."

"Ah, well, yes," Theo agrees. He can't help but grin, just a little, but even after a week his cheeks still flush with the thought of it. "They're for a very important person."

The woman hums, nodding. "I knew it. Well, if you don't mind me saying, it seems to me like they're a very lucky person as well."

"I'll be sure to let them know."

Theo smiles as he pays and takes the flowers. The smile doesn't leave his lips as he moves down the street, crossing the distance that divides him from the bakery. Officially, it's only their fourth date, counting the first as the time they spent together in Theo's apartment. Due to Sei's schedule and Theo's courses starting again, although they've seen each other often enough, spending lunch together in the park or sharing dinner again at Theo's apartment, they've only had two other chances for a proper outing.

Sei insisted rather pointedly that Theo still owed him a proper date, which had led to the second, and the third followed quickly thereafter. Theo's quickly grown even more comfortable around Sei in that short time. He's seen that Sei's teasing flirtations aren't just for show, and are really rather unfair when he knows that they're in earnest. Still, he manages to hold his own, to draw out Sei's brilliant smile with his own compliments and honesty, though his heart still flutters in his chest every time he sees it.

It's a terrible and wonderful feeling all at once. He feels lighter and heady and lost all at the same time, but it's all enveloped in a warm contentedness that's become a feeling uniquely associated with Sei. He's happy with Sei. Sei makes him happy, and, from what Sei's told him in his words and smiles, in the tight squeeze of their fingers laced together, he makes Sei happy as well.

Theo crosses the street and steps onto the block that holds Sei's bakery when suddenly his feet root themselves to the ground, his body jolting to a halt. His pulse beats madly in his ears, deafening, but it's for an entirely different reason now. There, pushing his way out of the bakery and stalking down the street towards Theo, is Trip.

Panic grips Theo's chest and traps his breath in his lungs. He knows now what a visit from Trip meant for Sei, but he also knows that Sei never wants for it to hold that sort of meaning again.

They spoke about it shortly after Sei had revealed his past to Theo. He assured Theo that he wouldn't allow Trip to do what he wanted anymore, that he would deny him the next time he came. Yet even though Theo expressed his worry then, asking if perhaps it would be better to involve the authorities somehow or ensure Sei some manner of additional protection, Sei merely reassured him with a soft smile that he would be fine. He could take care of himself.

Seeing Trip now, with every heavy fall of Trip's foot upon the sidewalk bringing him closer, Theo's thoughts fly to Sei, fraught with the same worry, so preoccupied that he almost doesn't notice the blood.

He stops himself, staring, his eyes narrowing at the sight.

Trip's posture is different from what it was the last time Theo saw him. Rather than the lazy confidence that Theo had seen in the thrust of his shoulders and his predatory stance, Trip marches forward with his shoulders hunched, one hand cradled over his nose and mouth. Blood streams through his fingers, spattered against the fabric of his vest and shirt, dripping against the sidewalk as he hastily moves forward.

The more that Theo looks the more he sees it isn't just Trip's nose that's been injured. A patch of skin against his cheekbone is angry and red as well, already starting to bruise. The fabric of his shirt is torn at the sleeve, his slacks dirty and covered in flour.

What's more, he seems so preoccupied with his currently injured state that he doesn't even notice Theo standing there. As Theo looks on, dumbfounded at what he's bearing witness to, Trip moves past him, never slowing, his bright blue eyes fixed angrily on the horizon. Theo watches his retreating form in wide eyed awe until Trip eventually vanishes around a corner several blocks away.

His shock holds him still for several moments longer, his mind a flurry of thoughts as he tries to comprehend what he's just seen.

Through the chaos of it all, one thought presses its way forward, snapping him from his daze.

Sei.

Before he knows it, he's turned, moving quickly to close the short distance between himself and the bakery. The closed sign is up on the door now, but he pays it no heed as he pushes the door open, making his way towards the back of the store and calling out.

"Sei? Are you here?"

Silence grips him for a moment. He slows ever so slightly before he hears footsteps moving closer and the sound of Sei's voice.

"Theo, you're--oh!"

"Ah--!"

As Theo rounds the corner to the back of the shop, he nearly collides straight into Sei. Stumbling back, his footing slips beneath him. Sei reaches to catch him but it's all too late. The two of them go crashing to the bakery floor in a pile of tangled limbs and flowers.

Theo groans, struggling against Sei's weight against him and trying to get his bearings again. Yet as he looks down, he can't quite help the swell of laughter that bubbles up at the back of his throat. There, crushed against his chest, is Sei delicately pushing himself up from a face full of flowers.

Sei scowls down at the arrangement, now crushed beyond hope, one hand reaching up to brush a smear of bright yellow pollen from his nose. He catches Theo's gaze when he hears his laughter, offering him a thin smile in return.

"I'm sure they were lovely," he says.

"Ah--I was fond of them, I'm sorry," Theo says in apology, a grin still spread across his face.

Sei reaches up to tuck a stray strand of hair behind his ear. "It's all right. I'll consider it a surprise."

"I think it was rather surprising for the both of us."

Now that he's had a moment, Theo realizes just what sort of position they're in. His free hand is pressed to the bakery floor, Sei's hands on either side of his hips, their legs loosely tangled together. It isn't an unfamiliar position--he recalls the night after their third date when talking on the couch of his apartment after a movie had turned into Sei draped artfully against his chest, the heat of their hips pressed close as they stole kisses from each other's lips and breath from each other's lungs--but it's certainly not where he expected to find himself so early in the evening.

Sei seems to notice the familiarity of it as well. Instead of moving to lift his weight from Theo's chest, he curls his hand around Theo's to shift the bouquet out from between the two of them He slides up as he does to bring his face even with Theo's.

The touch of Sei's fingers to his hand, the heat of his body settling more heavily against Theo's brings a flush to his cheeks. Breathlessly, he stares into Sei's eyes as Sei answers him with a light kiss pressed against his lips.

Theo's eyes flutter closed in reply, his lips slipping against Sei's, still somewhat awkwardly, but with more practiced familiarity than before. He feels Sei move again, some of the weight lifting from his chest as Sei braces himself up with one forearm against the floor. Where Sei's fingertips had grazed his hand, they find his wrist, spreading up the outside of his arm. Sei's palm strokes over his shoulder, tickling the skin of his neck and jaw as it finds its way up to bury into his hair.

It isn't until they break from the kiss, Sei's breath hot against his lips, that Theo seems to remember something rather important.

"Ah--we're still--" he swallows against the breathless feeling caught in his throat, fighting against the distraction of Sei's fingertips brushing slowly against his scalp.

Sei tilts his head slightly in question, his hair brushing Theo's cheeks, a playful smile curving over his lips. "We're still?"

"--On the floor," Theo finishes gamely.

He carefully sets the bouquet aside, reaching up to catch the outside of Sei's hand with his own to disentangle him when he feels the wet patches against Sei's skin. Startled, he draws his hand away, the surprise only building at the streaks of red he sees painted against his fingertips.

"Sei--you're--"

The distraction of Sei's body against his is gone in a moment, his earlier encounter on the street quickly crashing back down around him. Trip leaving the bakery. Sei had been here all alone. He shifts back, catching Sei's hand in his again. Sure enough, there's blood spread across his knuckles, though the skin seems unbroken, somehow--

"Theo--" Sei's voice barely registers to him, but as Sei's hand turns in his, curling his fingers against Theo's palm with a light squeeze, Theo turns to find Sei's gaze, his eyes intense with worry.

He holds for a moment, drawing in a breath to still his worry and calm his thoughts into some semblance of order. As he does, Sei shifts back as well to sit against Theo's thighs, his hand still held in Theo's.

"What happened to you?" Theo asks. "I saw Trip when I came in, so I thought..."

"He was here," Sei says with a slight nod. He brushes his thumb against the back of Theo's hand, looking down to watch the gesture with a smile that almost seems proud. "Then I made him leave."

"You made him...?" Theo frowns, remembering Trip's injured state, his eyes finding the blood on Sei's hand again.

Sei nods again, smiling wider. "You know, lifting flour and all of our ingredients day after day is quite a bit of work. It's hard to get through it if you don't build up a bit of muscle."

Theo knows this well enough. He's felt the taut skin of Sei's arms, the callouses against his fingertips, and the hints of strength and power that both of them hide. He nods slowly, his mind slowly piecing the events together, drawing his stare up to Sei with wide eyes.

"Then, you...?"

Sei's smile deepens, his eyes narrowing in a way that makes Theo's heart race against his chest. There's danger in the look. It's a power and confidence that he's never seen in Sei before. Yet as Sei draws Theo's hand up with his, his lips gently brushing against Theo's knuckles, he realizes that it isn't fear that's making his heart race. It's something completely different.

"I think he underestimated me," Sei whispers against the skin of Theo's hand.

Theo feels a shiver rush down his spine, a spike of heat curling and gathering in his belly. He swallows, his mouth suddenly dry, and nods.

"I think he did," he agrees faintly.

Sei turns Theo's hand in his, pressing another kiss against his pulse where it flutters against the skin of his wrist. Theo feels the slightest hint of Sei's tongue in the kiss, a wet touch to his skin. He shudders again, his thighs shaking beneath Sei's legs.

Sei notices, turning to look down at him with a gentler smile now. He releases Theo's hand, moving both of his hands down to rest lightly on Theo's chest.

"I'm not hurt, Theo," he says, his voice gentle and reassuring. "I'm all right."

"I'm glad," Theo says.  "Although...we're still on the floor."

"We're still on the floor," Sei says, a playful smile against his lips. His hands slide down, finding the hem of Theo's pants where his shirt tucks in under them, fingertips slowly pushing the fabric up against his skin.

"Ah..." Theo swallows. The movement of Sei's hands sends a jolt right to the heat gathering in his belly, making it harder to focus. "I thought that tonight we could..."

"Theo," Sei purrs.

Theo shuts his mouth obediently, looking up.

He hadn't had a chance to take in Sei's appearance before, but his eyes are hyperfocused on it now. Patches of flour stand out against Sei's dark hair, tousled into an unfamiliar state of disarray. He shows the signs of his struggle with Trip, but more than that he shows the signs of his victory. His shoulders are set back, his chin held high as he looks down at Theo with hooded eyes. They flick lower still, watching as his fingers press Theo's shirt slowly upward, exposing a growing patch of skin to the cool air and the chill of the bakery floor.

His hands lift up to carefully pull at the buttons of Theo's shirt, each one plucked open with the gentle attention that Sei would give to a whirl of icing artfully placed on a pastry or cake.

"Tonight, why don't we try something else?"

Theo doesn't want to stop him. The more practical part of his mind struggles to be heard, to protest that it's his first time, to question whether the floor of a bakery is really the place for that, but he finds that it's surprisingly simple at this moment to just shut it out. He doesn't want to stop Sei because he wants this.

Moving as if they've found a will of their own, Theo's hands settle against Sei's hips, feeling where bone presses to skin under the cover of his pants. Sei's fingers have worked their way up to his collar now, leaving his chest completely exposed. Theo swallows, feeling his throat bob against the skin of Sei's fingers where they're hooked in the loop of Theo's tie.

He looks up and finds himself meeting Sei's waiting gaze, his fingers still for the moment.

"I'd like that," he says. breathless and eager.

Sei smiles down at him, leaning in as he tugs Theo up by the fabric of his tie.

"I'm glad."

Their lips meet again, though this time there's no misgivings to the nature of this kiss. Sei's lips angle and slide against Theo's with a focused intensity, his tongue drawing over Theo's lips, his teeth leaving them bruised and wanting more. For once Theo's mind is surprisingly clear, the flurry of his usual doubts and worries and apprehensions silenced into a single point of resounding want. He answers Sei's kiss with a clumsy fervor all his own, pressing up off the floor of the bakery as well as he can, his hands finding their way up Sei's sides, pushing fabric against skin, before he slides them down again in search of the hem of Sei's shirt to feel the touch of skin to skin for himself.

Sei seems to feed off of Theo's own enthusiasm, the usual slow and indulgent nature of his kisses replaced by an urgent sense of need. He casts Theo's tie aside easily, one hand tangling into Theo's hair again, drawing him deeper into their kiss as the other slides down over Theo's chest.

Sei's hand is rough and warm, lighting a heated path over Theo's skin wherever it touches. For all that Theo knows the feel of Sei's lips, the familiar wonder of his kisses, he's never felt Sei's touch in this way--or anyone's touch, for that matter. He gasps when Sei's calloused fingers brush across a nipple, the sound melting into a moan against the mischievous smile on Sei's lips as those same fingers roll and tease over the sensitive skin.

The two of them break the kiss a moment later, flushed and gasping for breath, but it's Sei who recovers first. It's Sei who moves to kiss along the line of Theo's jaw, Sei whose teeth nip and tease against the skin of Theo's neck.

Theo feels his head fall back against the cool floor of the bakery again, a plaintive, wanting sound slipping from his open lips. His eyes go wide as he hears it echo against the bakery walls back to his own ears, one hand reaching up to quickly clasp over his mouth.

Sei glances up at him from where his lips are pressed to the hollow of Theo's throat, smiling against his skin.

"What's wrong?" he asks, sitting up slightly as both palms smooth evenly across Theo's chest. "I liked that sound."

Theo looks to him, suddenly aware of the flush on his cheeks and the more insistent heat burning below, dropping his hand with a sucking breath.

"Can anyone--hear us?"

Sei reaches up, his hand curling around Theo's wrist, pressing it back until it hits the floor.

"No," he says with a kiss dropped to Theo's collarbone. "Only I can hear you now."

"Oh," Theo breathes out.

"Oh--" he sighs as Sei's lips trail lower, the tip of his tongue tracing against the edge of Theo's nipple.

"Oh," he moans, brushing flour from Sei's hair as he buries his hand in the dark strands, feeling the heat of Sei's mouth closing over him.

Sei hums around the small nub, encouraging. Theo answers him in kind. He feels lewd, he thinks. He feels perverse. Yet more than any of those things, he feels completely heady and weightless with joy.

When Sei's palms slide down to palm against the front of Theo's pants, stroking his erection through the fabric, Theo's hips jerk off the floor with a startled gasp.

"Sei," he manages a moment later, breathless and wanting.

Sei lifts his head from Theo's chest, the heel of his hand still moving against the clothed length of Theo's cock as he looks up to him.

"Is it all right?"

"It is--" Theo gasps. His face is burning. He's suddenly quiet grateful for the cool air of the bakery as it brushes against his exposed skin.

He looks down, past Sei's dark and smiling eyes, to where Sei's hand rests over him, pale skin against the dark fabric of his pants. He swallows once before lifting his head to meet Sei's gaze again.

"I want it, Sei," he says. His voice sounds strange even to his ears, heated and lower than it usually is. "I want you."

That seems the right thing to say, or at least Sei seems to appreciate it. His smile widens with a slight nod. He loosens his grip on Theo's wrist, his fingers trailing down the underside of his arm, against the skin of his chest, until both hands are poised at the ready over the fly of Theo's pants.

"I'm yours," Sei answers, never breaking Theo's gaze as his fingers make swift work of the button and zipper, palms smoothing against Theo's stomach as his fingers duck beneath the edge of his briefs.

"And you're mine."

"Yes," Theo says. His hips lift, pressing into Sei's hands. His pulse races against his chest as he watches Sei's hands nudge his pants and briefs both down. The motion of it seems achingly slow, teasing to the point of torment, but Theo can't quite tell if that's Sei's doing or his own building sense of anticipation.

He sucks in a tight breath when his cock is freed from its confines. He's seen himself this way plenty of times before. Even recently, with the intimate knowledge he holds of the heat of Sei's body pressed to his, the force of Sei's kisses, he has to admit that he's needed to find relief on his own more often than once. But this time is different, this time Sei is here with him. This time it's Sei's pale and calloused fingers that trail through the patch of curly hair below Theo's navel, following it down until they wrap around the tight skin of Theo's cock.

Theo turns, pressing his cheek against the floor with another desperate moan. He doesn't want to look away, but the feeling of Sei's hands, the knowledge that they're Sei's hands, sends a searing heat up his spine. His skin tingles with the sensation of it, hips canting upward eagerly, wanting more.

"It feels good, doesn't it?" Sei murmurs above him.

He hasn't even properly taken Theo in his hand yet. His fingertips only trace against the line of Theo's cock, pressing against the head with a soft roll before finding their way down the bottom of his shaft. Now he knows Sei is teasing.

He laughs breathlessly. Of all the times he's been worried for Sei, for Sei's comfort and Sei's well being, it's Sei who has him at completely his mercy now. It seems almost ironic, in a way.

"It feels good," he says. He licks his lips, not sure of when they became so dry. Lifting his head he turns enough to look upon Sei properly, to see the pleased curve of his lips, the playful light in his eyes as his fingers continue their teasing work against Theo's erection. "It feels wonderful, Sei."

Sei hums in approval, shifting back from where he sits against Theo's thighs. One hand moves to hold Theo's hip, his eyes locking with Theo's as he lowers himself down, dropping a soft kiss against the curve of Theo's hipbone.

"I know a way it could feel better."

"Better--" Theo's words cut off with a moan, Sei's hand curling around his cock at the exact moment that his teeth graze over the skin of his hip, kissing and sucking against it.

He feels Sei humming again against his skin, the vibrations seeming to travel straight to his cock, mingling with the pleasure he already feels from Sei's touch.

"Better," Sei says in a whisper over Theo's wet skin, over the mark he's surely left there. His hand isn't moving quickly yet. It almost seems to Theo as though he's stroking in time as he slowly drops kisses along the line of Theo's hips, moving steadily inward, lower...

"Sei--" Theo gasps.

His fingers curl in Sei's hair, dragging against his scalp as the realization sinks in of just what Sei plans to do.

Sei answers his name with a smile. He lifts his head, looking up to Theo again, lips poised carefully over the head of his cock.

"That's right."

He moves down without hesitation. His lips part against the head of Theo's cock, tongue flat against the bottom of it. Theo can't even believe what it feels like, how impossibly hot and impossibly good it is to have Sei's mouth around him, to press himself in to the heat he finds there. He can't speak, can't think beyond the primal urge to tighten his hand against Sei's hair, arching his back to press his hips in more, deeper, a whining cry tearing from his lips as he does.

Sei doesn't pause. He doesn't tease this time. His mouth moves with steady confidence, taking in Theo's length straight to the base as his hands flex against Theo's hips, holding them still.

When he holds still there Theo's certain that his heart's about to burst. He's gasping, his breaths rough and uneven, every inch of skin alight with something electric that Sei's brought to life inside him through the touch of his hands, his tongue, and his lips. He tries to urge himself deeper even as he can feel his cock pressing against the back of Sei's throat but Sei's hands hold him firmly in place.

Another plaintive, keening sound slips from his lips, it might have been Sei's name, but he can't be certain now. Fortunately, Sei answers his plea.

Sei's lips move over Theo's cock with a practiced ease. He swallows at the right moments, swirls his tongue against the tip just so that it's completely maddening. Theo isn't sure of what he's saying or what he's doing. He only knows he wants more. His hips struggle against Sei's grip, his hand pulling at his dark hair as he gasps out some sort of incoherent plea he can't even make sense of himself. It feels like it's either an eternity or an embarrassingly short amount of time before all of it builds inside of him. He feels his pleasure spiking, feels himself rutting against the depths of Sei's mouth and throat before his back arches up from the floor, his vision going white around the edges as his orgasm hits him.

Breathing is about the only thing that he can manage, and even that seems a struggle at first. Yet as he draws breathes in slowly, in and out, the world slowly starts to come into focus around him, though it's still warm and hazy at the edges.

Theo sighs, letting the comforting weight of his climax settle over his body. His eyes drift closed, the tension in his hand releasing to stroke over Sei's smooth hair when a realization suddenly strikes him with a jolt.

"Ah--" he sits up abruptly, greeted with the sight of Sei nonchalantly wiping a few stray traces of Theo's come from the corners of his lips with his thumb. Sei arches an eyebrow at him, his tongue darting out to lap up the sticky white substance.

"Theo?"

"I--" Theo breaths again, in and out. He stares at Sei, at himself, then back at Sei. His eyes take in the flush of Sei's cheeks, the curl of a smile against his swollen lips, the very faint edge of his pupils, blown wider against the dark of his eyes. The worry he'd felt, that he'd done something wrong by Sei in abandoning himself completely to his ecstasy is entirely banished at that sight.

"I've never felt anything like that," he finishes in a breathless rush.

"That's quite the compliment," Sei says, though he's hardly humble in the way he says it. "But you know, I'm not done yet."

"Not done..." Theo repeats. Even with fatigue pulling at the edges of his body, those words sent a new wave of heat rushing straight to his belly and lower. His body has his limitations, though. As ashamed as he would be to admit it, he's very well aware of them. "What else was it that you'd like...?"

Sei smiles. He pushes himself up as well, one hand curling against the nape of Theo's neck. His fingers tangle in the soft hair there, tickling against the top of Theo's spine as he leans in, whispering his words like a secret against Theo's lips even though they're very much alone.

"I'd like you."

This time, Sei's kiss is slow, deliberate. Theo can feel the heat of Sei's own arousal in the insistent way that his lips move, but they're soft enough to be firm without intimidating him. He lets his eyes close, lets the lingering warmth of his own climax envelop him once again as he settles into the familiar touch of Sei's kiss.

Sei's hands start to move at the pace of his kiss. With a steady determination they rise over Theo's sides, smoothing over his chest to find his shoulders. Warm palms and calloused fingertips trail over Theo's arms, finally pushing his shirt entirely away before trailing back up to encircle his wrists in a light grasp. Sei guides him, pulling Theo's hands forward to rest at his own hips, over the hemline of his pants. A soft, teasing sound rumbles from Sei's lips against Theo's as his hands move away.

He's in Theo's hands now, it says. Theo should know what to do.

Fortunately, Theo knows very well what he wants to do right now. He answers Sei with a wanting sound of his own. Once again he pushes at the fabric of Sei's shirt, determined to see it slide up this time, to slip his hands beneath it and feel the smooth planes of Sei's skin under them. Sei shifts with his touch, his tongue and teeth leaving light nips and sweeps of encouragement to Theo's lips as they move together, as Theo casts Sei's shirt aside.

He lets his hands move once more over the newfound expanse of Sei's chest before they slide lower. Even at the edge of Sei's pants, he can feel the heat and tug of his trapped erection. Theo wants to see it for himself, he wants to do for Sei what Sei did for him.

Breaking the kiss with a wet gasp, he meets Sei's eyes for a moment before turning his gaze down. He watches his hands move over the fly of Sei's pants. Sei's hands curl over his shoulder, his hips twisting against the touch as his head falls to rest against Theo's temple. Theo can hear Sei's sighs, can hear the husky depth of his breath as it tickles against his ear. He hesitates, just for a moment, and hears the quiet laugh under Sei's breath as well.

"Go on," Sei whispers to him. "I want you to see me."

"Yes," Theo exhales in reply. "I want to see you."

He draws Sei's pants open, fumbling with the zipper only once. Sei's hips seem to lift at the perfect moment, letting Theo draw both his boxers and pants away to reveal his cock. Theo's hands find their way back to Sei's hips, holding there as his eyes track their way up the line of Sei's body.

"You're beautiful," he says without thinking, gazing up to where Sei's shifted to rest over him. His mind catches up with him a moment later, yet instead of his usual flustered stammer he feels an effortless sort of joy welling up inside of him instead. He exhales, his mouth stretching wide in a grin. "You really are beautiful."

"Thank you," Sei says. He puts one hand to Theo's wrist, drawing it forward against the taut skin of his belly. "I'm glad you think so."

Theo doesn't need to be told to know what Sei wants of him. He wants it as well.

Theo's hand doesn't stutter as it moves across Sei's skin. He doesn't look away as his fingers brush against the rough curls marking a trail leading downward. The first touch of his fingertips against the heat of Sei's cock is electric. It sparks against them, leaving them tingling with want. Theo slides his hand forward, letting Sei settle into his palm. It's impossibly warm, somehow it seems even warmer than the sensation Theo remembers from when he's touched himself. He know it's probably just his imagination. There's no way something like that could really be true, but it feels that way all the same.

Sei lets out a quiet sigh above him, drawing Theo's attention back up to him. He smiles, a sly little curve of his lips, as his hips roll against the pressure of Theo's hand. Sei's cock slides in his hand until the side of his palm bumps against the skin of Sei's belly, Sei's hair pushed flat beneath it. Theo returns Sei's smile with one of his own before he strokes over Sei's length, moving slowly and carefully to match the pace of his hips.

He's rewarded with a deeper sound, a pleased moan pulled from Sei's belly to escape through parted lips. Even though Theo's still recovering himself, he can feel the way the sound seems to shoot straight to his belly, making his limp cock twitch against his thigh.

It's impossible that Sei would have noticed, but something in his expression seems to change all the same. He pushes himself up to rest against Theo's thighs, back arched forward. With a toss of his head his dark hair falls back, clinging to the thin sheen of sweat over his neck in lines like ink against a pale canvas.

Sei moans and the sound of it echoes against the bakery walls, urging Theo on. His grip tightens, his hand stroking faster over Sei's taut flesh, which only seems to make Sei writhe more over him. He can see the stutter on Sei's lips as his chest heaves with deeply drawn breaths, can see the flush on his cheeks tinge darker still as his entire body moves, brought to pleasure by nothing more than the touch of Theo's hand.

Theo can feel a thrill shiver down his spine at that realization. This is all because of him, even if Sei's had this sort of experience with countless others, Theo is something different, Theo is something more.

"Sei--" he gasps out, unaware of how breathless he's become. His own cock presses hot against his belly again, wanting more.

"Hmm?" One of Sei's eyes cracks open, a hooded gaze that devours Theo's body as it takes him in, quickly trailing down to take in the sight of his growing erection.

"Ah," Sei says, slowly stilling his body, even as Theo's hand continues to work over him. "You're ready."

"Ready--?"

Sei nods, reaching down to close his hand over Theo's wrist, stopping him.

"Wait just a moment."

"Sei..." Theo breathes. He watches, eyes wide as Sei presses up on his knees, somewhat awkwardly shifting to properly remove the rest of his clothes before he reaches up to the shelf they're resting beside to retrieve something.

"What is...?" Theo asks, a moment before he recognizes the label on the bottle of oil.

Sei regards him with a predatory curl to his lips, his tongue darting out to wet them. With one hand, he's twisted the cap off the bottle, pouring a small pool of it into the palm of his other hand.

"You know how it works, don't you?" he asks. His fingers turn against the pool, shining and sleek with oil when he lifts them away.

"Yes--" Theo says. His stomach seems to do a strange sort of flip in anticipation. Yet just as he begins to spread his legs wider, an unconscious invitation to Sei, granting his consent, Sei does the same above him, reaching back to press one slicked finger into himself with a pleased groan.

"Sei--?"

"Theo?" Sei's voice curls around the name like a purr. Theo shudders from the sheer want that he hears within it.

"It's only--I thought--"

"Mmh," Sei exhales, hips shifting as he works himself open, a second finger pressing in now. "I wouldn't mind it that way," he says, almost as an afterthought. "But you know...I'd really like to feel you first."

"Oh--" Theo inhales.

"Do you mind?"

"No--!" Theo exhales.

He releases Sei, his hands finding their way to his hips again. He licks his lips, his throat dry with anticipation.

"No," he repeats, slower, but no less urgent. "I'd like that. I want that."

Sei smiles. He pulls his fingers away, curling the same hand around Theo's cock to spread the remaining oil over it. Theo groans, his hips jerking eagerly into the touch.

"I thought you would," Sei says.

He crawls up the line of Theo's body, hand never leaving his cock.

Theo only has a moment to stare, to burn the tableau of this image into his mind, of Sei poised carefully over him, the muscles in his thighs tensed, his hand guiding Theo's cock to his entrance before he lowers himself down. Theo's eyes shut immediately, his head thrown back with a stuttering moan. It's tight, is his first thought. It's warm, is his second. Oh god, is his third.

He feels Sei's heat press around him, surrounding him, all the way until he's buried to the hilt inside of him. He's barely aware of the flex of his fingers against Sei's hips. The tips of them are tingling with pleasure, his vision blurred as he sucks in tight breaths from his lips.

Sei's voice filters in from somewhere above him, breathless yet intent.

"Theo," he says.

"Ah--" is all that he can manage. He swallows, blinks twice, and gasps for breath.

Sei shifts over him and another moan pulls from his lips. He feels the calloused touch of Sei's fingers to his cheek, still slick and surprisingly cool against his heated flush and looks to where Sei leans over him.

Somehow, Sei's even more captivating like this. His cheeks are flushed, mouth curved in a wide grin as Theo looks up to him.

"Theo," he says again, his lips slowly curling around the name, painting it in thick, rich syllables.

"Yes?" Theo breathes the sound out with a low exhale. His hands slide up, over Sei's sides, feeling as his chest expands with each breath, his cock twitching with the shift and movement of Sei's body around him.

Sei lets out an appreciative sound, one hand skimming up over Theo's chest in reply, his palm rubbing a flat circle over Theo's nipple. "Mmh, I'm going to move," he says. "All right?"

Theo nods without hesitation. Sei's grin stretches wider. Bracing himself against Theo's chest, his legs curled, feet pressed to the floor, he rises steadily. Theo can feel the cool air of the bakery brush against the slick skin of his cock, sending a shiver and an aching want coursing through his body, his hips lifting on their own accord, seeking the heat of Sei's body again. Sei laughs over him, playfully, moving until the head of Theo's cock catches on his entrance before he lowers himself down again in one smooth motion.

The sensation is dizzying in its intensity. Theo feels another moan pulling from his chest, spreading his lips wider as he gulps down another gasping breath. Sei moves again and again. The pace he sets seems nearly maddening at first. Every careful lift of his hips leaves Theo aching, wanting something more to sate his need, to fill the slowly building pleasure in his belly.

He squirms and writhes under Sei, bracing his legs to thrust his hips up in time with Sei's motions, his hands sliding impatiently against Sei's hips to urge him down harder, faster. He's too distracted to match Sei perfectly, his thrusts out of sync and uneven at times, but Sei doesn't seem to mind it at all. His low, breathless laughter at Theo's enthusiasm quickly gives way to deep and eager moans of his own.

The sound of their breaths mingle against the walls of the bakery. Theo's keening, urgent sounds creating a counterpointed harmony to Sei's deeper, wanting echos of Theo's name. He tells Theo how lovely he looks like this and simply hearing it draws a whimper from Theo's lips. He leans closer, the shift of the angle of Theo inside him drawing a stuttered gasp from Theo's lips that pales in comparison to the choked groan that comes when Sei's breath brushes against his ear, whispering hotly against the burning skin there.

"I want more of you, Theo," he purrs. His hips drive back, hard and fast against Theo's cock with a resounding smack and he moans. "Theo--I want you."

"Sei--" Theo gasps. He shifts, trying to brace his feet against the floor, thrusting up. His hands slide over Sei's skin, fingers digging in to find purchase as he pushes in, harder and faster now.

"Sei," he moans, letting his head fall back, his bangs sticking to the sweat on his forehead in thick clumps.

"Theo," Sei answers. His voice pitches higher, his body clenching tighter around Theo as he moves back, bobbing up and down against him now. Sei rides him, matching the clumsy and inexperienced pace of Theo's thrusts with a passion all his own. Through the haze of his own pleasure Theo can see him, back arched head thrown back with his mouth open wide.

"Theo--" Sei pleads, "Theo--"

His hands fly into motion, reaching up to curl his fingers over Theo's where they rest against his hips. He squeezes, hard, his voice lost to an inarticulate string of moans before his body pulls tight with a strangled cry, come splattering up against his belly as his orgasm takes him.

Theo wants to say his name, wants to reply. But he can feel the heat of his own climax building again. With a wanton moan he abandons himself to it, hips shaking with effort as he thrusts himself in to the tight heat of Sei's body again and again until white spots paint the backs of his eyelids, his throat hoarse with the incoherent moan as he spills himself inside of Sei again.

Heart hammering against his chest, Theo remembers to breathe. A warm stillness settles over him again, his limbs heavy, his grip on Sei's hips relaxing as the sound of their gasping breathes fills the air around them.

He blinks a few times before his vision clears, tilting his head to look up, finding Sei with his half-lidded gaze. Sei's eyes are already on him, his lips curled into a lazy smile. Theo smiles back and the two of them laugh, breathless and giddy.

"Theo," Sei says, sliding off of him with a quiet sound, his fingers lacing through Theo's as he moves to lie on the floor against him.

"Sei," Theo says, squeezing Sei's hands once before he releases them. He moves his hands forward, curling them against Sei's back, drawing him in.

Sei moves with him easily, his hands finding Theo's chest, his neck, then tangling in the mess of his hair. There's a million things that Theo could say, he thinks, but as he gazes into Sei's eyes, seeing the quiet, lazy contentment in the curve of his smile as Sei's fingers draw shapeless patterns against his scalp, none of them seem to matter quite as much as this moment.

They'll need to clean up, before long. They've got the rest of the evening ahead of them. Theo hadn't meant for it to quite happen this way. But, for now, he's glad that he has Sei.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's all I wrote. Thank you all for joining me in this really silly sappy joyride of the finest of rarepairs!
> 
> I'd like to thank my beta squad on this one, [epiproctan](http://archiveofourown.org/users/epiproctan/pseuds/epiproctan) and [Harukami](http://archiveofourown.org/users/harukami/pseuds/harukami), who have made this all possible. Extra thanks also goes to officialseiao on twitter for inspiring this whole schmoopy mess.
> 
> I still have a couple of sort of complete DMMD works that I may or may not post here, but otherwise this will probably be my last DMMD work for a while. I'm taking the month of November to try to focus more on original work for Nano and have lately fallen into the pit of Haikyuu and The Raven Cycle. Though knowing myself I'll probably still post smutty oneshots from those two fandoms anyway...


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